How to Go Broke Traveling with Young Kids

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Have some extra cash that feels like it’s burning a hole in your pocket? It’s time to gather the family and hit the road! If you’re looking to swiftly transition from financially stable to financially challenged, traveling with young children is the ultimate experience! Here’s how to maximize your spending while minimizing your sanity.

  1. Choose Destinations with Abundant Kid-Friendly Activities
    Select locations that boast a plethora of kid-centric activities. Amusement parks and water parks are prime culprits when it comes to extravagant costs. Pro tip: Be upfront about your kids’ ages. Only a true miser would try to snag a discount for a child who just turned three days ago!
  2. Confirm Food and Drink Policies
    Before you go, call ahead to ensure that these hubs of fun don’t permit outside food or drink. Bonus points if they check bags at the entrance! Stay long enough to justify purchasing at least two meals and snacks for each family member—45 minutes should do the trick. And remember: hiding snacks in your purse is a no-go; your kids will take note and may develop a few “creative” habits down the line.
  3. Book a Hotel with Beach Access
    Opt for accommodations right on the beach. After all, what value can you put on convenience? In reality, this will save you about negative 20 minutes, since it takes small children around 40 minutes to walk 50 feet to the water.
  4. Consult Your Partner on Packing
    Engage your spouse in discussions about what to bring. Respectfully listen as they insist you’re overpacking and to just relax. Discard everything they suggest you can leave behind—this way, you’ll be motivated to purchase overpriced sunscreen, infant pain relievers, and other necessities during your stay. Extra credit for buying items you already have at home, just because you forgot to pack them!
  5. Only Visit Places with Gift Shops
    Ensure your children are aware of gift shops, especially when everyone is hot, tired, and hungry. Your chances of resisting their pleas at that moment are nearly zero, providing another perfect opportunity to lighten your wallet.
  6. Select Restaurants with Special Kids’ Meals
    Even if your trio weighs less than 80 pounds combined and typically shares a single meal, insist on ordering separate kids’ meals for every child. Embrace financial waste by spending at least $8.99 plus tax for each meal daily, and forget about leftovers—who wants to be a buzzkill on vacation?
  7. Hire a Vacation Sitter
    Consider a vacation sitter to watch your little ones while you enjoy a night out. This agency will likely provide someone who speaks little to no English to care for your infant. This arrangement not only drains your wallet but also leaves you anxious, ensuring you’ll need that new outfit and fresh mani/pedi to feel somewhat normal.
  8. Book Two Connecting Rooms
    Splurge on two connecting rooms for comfort and space. Just when you think you’ll enjoy some peace, your kids will surely refuse to sleep, leaving everyone crammed in one room with all the luggage in the other. But hey, it’s just money!
  9. Opt for a Cruise
    Why not choose a cruise? You’ll be trapped on an ocean liner with your children for days, all while spending a fortune. After disembarking, you might need to seek therapy for the emotional trauma that ensued.
  10. If You Still Have Money Left, You’ve Been Slacking!
    If your bank account remains intact, clearly you haven’t done enough. It’s time to bring out the big guns—Disney! One word, $1,000 per syllable!

For more tips on navigating parenting while keeping your finances in check, check out this post on our blog. Also, if you’re in need of at-home insemination kits, consider visiting Make A Mom, a trusted online retailer. And for a comprehensive guide on what to expect during your first IUI, head over to Parents.com.

In summary, traveling with young kids can swiftly drain your finances, but with the right strategies, you can ensure you spend every last penny while creating unforgettable family memories.


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