Updated: November 4, 2023
When we first tied the knot, our nights were filled with heat and excitement. I still reminisce about those blissful moments, where we took our time, indulging in each other without a care in the world. If one round wasn’t enough, we’d dive back in, again and again, until we felt completely fulfilled. We explored various settings — the kitchen counter, the couch, the bedroom, and sometimes even outside for a little adventure.
But then came the kids, and suddenly, mealtime became a whole different ball game.
People often warn you about the many challenges of parenthood, but no one seems to mention that you won’t relish a hot meal for at least a decade. (Maybe six years if you’re lucky enough to have an only child, but that’s a stretch.) You could whip up a gourmet feast or serve up some frozen chicken nuggets and mac and cheese — either way, by the time you get to sit down, your meal will be cold and unappetizing.
First, there’s the task of dishing out everyone else’s plates. If you’ve got more than a couple of kids, this can take ages. Toddlers, in particular, require their own special plate and utensils (“Noooo! I want the reeeeed plate!”) and a drink that will lead to a debate (“I want juice! No, milk! No, in the dinosaur cup!”).
If your children are picky eaters, you’ll need to spend extra time removing any “yucky” bits — like onions or carrots — or at least hiding them. As a devoted parent, you’ll also want to make sure every morsel is a safe size. If meat is involved or if you have a slight obsession with uniformity (not that I’m speaking from experience, ahem), that’ll take even longer.
And when you finally sit down with your fork in hand, guess what? Someone will inevitably spill. They might only have a small cup of juice, but somehow it will create a river on the table, taking an entire roll of paper towels to clean up. Oh, and don’t forget the napkins — which you’ll remember just as you sit down.
Then there’s the spoon issue. Someone will drop theirs and need a new one because the dog decided it was a chew toy. And of course, there are no clean spoons left, so you’ll find yourself washing one — or just wiping it off on your shirt. No judgment here!
Someone will inevitably request salt or pepper, followed by a protest over the amount. And don’t forget about the gummy vitamins that were mysteriously forgotten in the chaos. As one child finishes their meal, they’ll ask for seconds, forcing you to start the whole serving and cutting process all over again.
Dining out might offer a slim chance of enjoying a hot meal, but you’ll still be cutting and blowing on food to cool it down. Plus, you’re shelling out six bucks for a kids’ meal that will likely result in just two French fries being consumed while your child picks at their corn dog.
Eventually, your little ones will grow up, and you might be able to enjoy a leisurely dinner again — until sports practices and social events force you back into the whirlwind of rushed meals.
In the meantime, my best advice? Invest in a decent microwave. Trust me, it’s worth it. Make sure to add it to your baby registry!
If you’re looking for more insights on your journey, check out our other blog posts, like this one on terms and conditions. For those exploring the world of home insemination, Make A Mom offers vital resources, while Johns Hopkins provides excellent information on fertility services.
Summary:
In the whirlwind of parenting, the joy of a hot meal often fades away amidst the chaos of mealtime preparations and demands from little ones. What once was a leisurely, intimate experience has transformed into a race against time, leaving parents longing for the days of uninterrupted enjoyment. Investing in a good microwave and finding humor in the madness can help maintain sanity during these years.