There was a time when my social calendar was brimming with friends. Days would melt away as we debated the merits of fictional romances, or gathered around a box of Franzia, reliving the magic of “Dirty Dancing” while gossiping and singing. Back then, I had a mix of best friends, close friends, and acquaintances galore. But those days seem like a distant memory now.
Fast forward to the present, and friendships have undergone a significant transformation. As life threw in a partner, in-laws, and eventually kids, I found that many friendships faded away, simply due to the demands of life. Time is no longer a luxury we can afford. Interests, values, and priorities have shifted, often placing friends on the other side of the globe. Nowadays, I’ve come to realize that true friendship is more about quality rather than quantity.
I won’t lie; there are moments when I yearn for the abundance of friendships I once had. I sometimes wish I was part of the popular crowd, feeling that pang of envy when scrolling through social media and seeing friends enjoying a day out without me. But I’ve learned that the number of friends isn’t what matters; it’s the depth of connection that counts. My current circle may be small, but the bonds I share with these individuals are incredibly meaningful.
This shift in perspective isn’t just a result of growing older but also stems from witnessing each other through life’s most challenging times. A few years back, my dear friend Jenna faced a breast cancer diagnosis. Our friendship had weathered many storms, but nothing compared to the battle against cancer.
Wanting to be the best friend I could be, I reached out every day, sharing in her struggles and frustrations, from failed surgeries to the relentless fight against this disease. When she needed support during her first week of chemotherapy, I flew across the country to be by her side. It was a daunting task, especially after more than a decade of not flying solo. We exist in a whirlwind of responsibilities, often hiding in bathrooms to text each other while pretending to have a moment alone.
Walking into her home, I was terrified of how this new journey would affect our friendship. But upon seeing her, I realized she was still the same Jenna I had known for years. We snuck off to her bedroom to share in her healing journey, and in that moment, our friendship felt as strong as ever.
Throughout her treatment, we found a way to maintain our spirits. We joked about getting pedicures while heading to her chemo appointments, shared silly Facebook posts, and even took selfies—embracing the absurdity of our circumstances. I helped out with household chores, grocery shopping, and even bath time for her son, all while maintaining a facade of normalcy amidst the chaos.
Our friendship, like Jenna’s journey, evolved. Months later, as she prepared for breast reconstruction, we found ourselves giggling in a restaurant bathroom discussing sizes and shapes—because that’s what friends do.
While I aimed to be the perfect friend, I quickly realized that perfection doesn’t exist. I worried about my own life’s trivialities and felt the weight of distance. But I learned that being a good friend is about stepping into the mess together, supporting one another through life’s ups and downs.
As Jenna’s life began to stabilize post-treatment, I recognized that our friendship had transformed. We now see each other with clearer eyes, understanding both our flaws and strengths more deeply than ever. It’s a reminder that while we might not have a multitude of friends, the few we do have are invaluable.
These friendships, though fewer in number, are rich in strength and authenticity. Each friend offers something unique, whether it’s uplifting words, comfort food, or a healthy dose of humor. Together, they create a tapestry of support that embodies the essence of true friendship.
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In summary, while my social circle may have shrunk, the friendships I cherish are more profound and supportive than ever before. These small numbers of friends are the true treasures in my life, embodying the beauty of quality over quantity.