Kids have an uncanny ability to announce their urgent potty needs at the most inopportune moments — just as you settle into the car, right when you step out, or the second the movie starts. But nothing quite compares to the chaos that ensues when you’re at a restaurant, blissfully anticipating your meal, only to hear, “I have to go!” This is a routine occurrence in our household, and it’s particularly exhausting for us stay-at-home parents who often tackle these bathroom emergencies solo.
One sunny spring afternoon, I decided to treat my three kids to lunch and thought it would be lovely if my husband joined us. Just as we settled in at the local sub shop, my youngest declared, “I need to poop now!” Naturally, my daughter felt the need to join this urgent mission. Apparently, there’s nothing like a family trip to the restroom to bond over public facilities.
I glanced at my husband, who was eagerly eyeing his meatball sub, and raised my eyebrows. “You got this. I do it all the time. It’s a piece of cake!”
He looked back at me, panic creeping into his eyes, “Alone? Can’t you come with me?”
Since there was only one family restroom and our kids were 3 and 4 years old, he’d have to take them both in at once. They had been insistent about their immediate need, so it was better they took care of business in the restroom rather than at our booth. “It’ll be smoother this way,” I reassured him, fully aware I was fibbing — but I was hungry. This was my moment to enjoy a meal without interruptions, a rare mom fantasy.
As I savored my lunch and chatted with my oldest, the sounds of chaos erupted from the bathroom, audible even to those in line waiting for their sandwiches.
After what felt like an eternity, my youngest burst out of the restroom, looking like he’d just survived a tornado. His pants were hiked up awkwardly, and despite his disheveled appearance, he triumphantly shouted, “Mom, my poop was this long!” He held his hands a foot and a half apart, making sure everyone in the vicinity heard him loud and clear—a classic public restroom moment.
Eventually, my husband emerged, clearly frazzled, with our daughter who seemed relieved. He looked like he’d just completed a triathlon. “Those kids need a bath when we get home,” he muttered, the look on his face making it clear he was not ready to tackle that adventure again soon.
While he had taken the kids to the bathroom before, I was usually there to manage the other child, so he had never experienced the full chaos of a public restroom trip alone. He had cleaned up after them and changed diapers, but I had always taken the lead because he worked hard all day.
Maybe I should have gone to help, but honestly, I stayed put because it had been ages since I enjoyed a meal without interruptions. It was a bittersweet victory; I was teetering on the edge of resentment for always being the one to leap up and manage the chaos, while he got to savor his meal. I wanted to relish my lunch too, at least every once in a while.
As parents, we seek those small wins daily, and this felt like a big one for me (not so much for him). But hey, I enjoyed my meal, and that made it a good day. My husband learned firsthand that navigating public outings with three kids can turn into a scene straight out of a comedy.
If you found this article relatable, check out our other post on home insemination, where you can discover more about the journey to parenthood. And for those interested in the science behind pregnancy, the Genetics and IVF Institute is an excellent resource.
In summary, juggling kids and their bathroom needs can be a test of endurance, but sometimes you have to let your partner experience the chaos to appreciate your efforts.