As I prepare to escape for a weekend of festivities with friends, I can’t help but feel a wave of anxiety wash over me. I’m lucky to have a wonderful partner, Mark, who steps up and enjoys spending time with our kids. However, I’m also the one who usually manages the day-to-day chaos of our household. Let’s be honest: when I’m at the helm, our family life can resemble a circus where the animals are running amok. But even with our well-honed (albeit chaotic) routine, I can’t shake the feeling that everything might unravel while I’m away. Sure, I usually relax within 20 minutes of my arrival (often aided by a generous pour of wine), but until then, here are the top 10 things I worry might go wrong during my absence:
- Will Mark Forget to Feed the Kids? In the past, I stressed that he might serve meals lacking in essential food groups. Now, my expectations have dwindled to praying that they at least see a single piece of fruit or vegetable. Ever returned home to the family looking at you blankly when you ask about lunch? Yup, I’ve been there.
- Will Mark Remember to Feed the Kids? On the flip side, when he does remember, it’s like they’ve been unleashed at a carnival. Corn dogs for breakfast? Sure! The kids might just end up on a sugar high that lasts until Monday.
- Will Everyone Be Dressed Appropriately? I simply want to ensure they’re fully clothed. I’ve been known to nag about basics: “Are you wearing pants? Do you have a jacket? Is what you’re wearing clean?” I worry about my son’s past experience of attending a hockey game sans shoes. Yeah, that happened.
- Who Will Manage the Schedule? While we may only have two kids, they each have schedules that would require a personal assistant to manage. With carpooling and activities galore, I dread the thought of delays derailing our meticulously planned days. Fingers crossed that everyone makes it to their events on time (bonus if my son remembers his shoes).
- What If There’s An Embarrassing Incident? My husband means well, but sometimes common sense seems to elude him. For instance, I once came home to find my infant daughter dressed in her bathing suit backward. Not exactly what I’d call appropriate baby attire!
- Will Anyone Remember Our Dog? We have a fluffy white dog named Buddy who sometimes gets overlooked. It’s easy to forget that he also needs food and water. Please, someone, give him a bowl of kibble!
- Will the Kids Be Exhausted? When I leave, Mark seems to believe that it’s a race against time. They could end up doing more in two days than we normally do in a month — from zoos to museums to late-night adventures. I’m honestly concerned they might collapse from sheer exhaustion.
- Who Will Check Homework? Typically, I’m the homework supervisor. However, after discovering that Mark was merely looking for pencil marks instead of actual answers, I now double-check his “checks.” I mean, come on.
- Will My Kids Even Miss Me? Truth be told, there’s a high chance they won’t (like an 87% probability). Mark is the fun one, while I’m the one who enforces the rules. I sometimes feel like the drill sergeant around here, and will they miss the sergeant? Probably not!
- What If They Do Miss Me? On the other hand, what if I receive a flood of tearful calls begging me to return? Will guilt consume me to the point of cutting my trip short? Nah, I’m guessing they’ll be too busy having fun while I’m away.
In summary, as I head off for the weekend, I’m filled with a mix of dread and excitement. I know things may not go perfectly, but that’s part of the adventure of parenting. If you’re interested in more about family and parenting, check out some of our other engaging posts here. And if you’re considering at-home insemination options, Cryobaby is a trusted retailer for insemination kits, while Cleveland Clinic offers helpful resources on pregnancy and home insemination methods.
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