Let’s just get straight to the point: I’m not great at decorating. There, I said it. My home is decently cozy—not too big, not too small—but it looks nothing like those stylish spaces you see on home makeover shows. Unless, of course, it’s one of those cringe-worthy “before” segments from a show like Fixer Upper.
Picture this: the frames in our living room are perpetually askew. There’s a magazine cutout of a baseball player my kid taped over a family portrait. On our dining table, seashells from a half-hearted seasonal décor attempt still linger, even though it’s now October and we’re well into decorative gourd season.
And the first thing most visitors ask when they step into our living room is, “Why is there a donkey on your wall?” Yes, there is a picture of a donkey taped up, complete with a collage of random portraits. Proof that I really am hopeless at this decorating gig. But guess what? I don’t really care.
Okay, that’s a slight exaggeration. I do care a bit. I mean, I wish I could channel my inner home décor guru, but let’s be real—between kids and pets, “nice things” are basically a fantasy. And let’s not forget that I’m just a bit lazy. I have zero desire to spend hours hunting for matching throw pillows, nor do I know what shiplap even is, though it seems to be all the rage lately.
Even if I had the time and energy to turn my home into a Pinterest paradise, I’d rather not spend my days telling my kids to keep their feet off the couch or to remove their Legos from the bowl of decorative gourds. I’m already worn out reminding them to brush their teeth and toss their dirty clothes in the laundry shoot that’s literally right outside their bedroom door.
Honestly, worrying about keeping hand towels in my guest bathroom pristine is the least of my concerns. I don’t even have a guest bathroom! I share one with three guys, and my biggest wish is for a toilet seat that stays down and a toilet paper roll that actually gets changed.
Also, I must confess—I’m not a fan of home makeover shows like HGTV. I know, shocking, right? But watching those shows just serves as a painful reminder of all the ways I’m failing at both decorating and adulting. I’ll turn on the TV feeling okay about my modest home, but within five minutes, I’m questioning every life choice I’ve made and suddenly want to rush to the nearest Home Depot to start DIYing everything from fire pits to chic nightstands.
Now, I’m not criticizing HGTV or those who love it. If you enjoy wandering the aisles of home improvement stores or binge-watching shows about home renovations, more power to you. But while I may envy your stylish accent wall or trendy furniture, I simply can’t muster the energy for it. I’m more of a minimalist, and I get overwhelmed by too many choices. Plus, every time I try to fix one thing, the rest of the house looks even worse (and not in the chic way). Where does it end? Probably with me drowning in caulk and complaining about outdated shiplap.
So, there you have it. I’m terrible at decorating, and honestly, the older I get, the less I care. My home doesn’t resemble a West Elm catalog; it looks more like a toy store—and not the trendy kind but rather one filled with cheap plastic toys. My bedroom furniture is older than my 12-year marriage, and I can’t even differentiate between paint colors like ecru and alabaster. And I still have no clue what shiplap is.
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In summary, my decorating skills are lacking, but I’m okay with that. My home may not be Instagram-ready, but it’s filled with love, laughter, and a whole lot of toys.