When I finished law school, I joined a prominent law firm as an associate. The work was monotonous, and the hours were endless, but I genuinely enjoyed the company of my colleagues. Yet, there was one woman — a highly successful partner — who left me feeling uneasy. I didn’t know her well and had only interacted with her a few times, but her demeanor struck me as closed off, unfriendly, and rather brusque. She wasn’t warm or expressive, and frankly, she intimidated me a bit. My judgment was baseless — she had always treated me with fairness and politeness — but my instincts told me I shouldn’t like her.
Similarly, I felt a similar unease toward Hillary Clinton. As a Democrat, I didn’t have ideological issues with her; instead, there was something about her that didn’t sit right with me. She struck me as excessively ambitious, aggressive, and somewhat aloof. I didn’t delve deeply into the criticisms against her or her accomplishments; instead, what I absorbed from the media and public opinion made me uneasy. My gut instinct told me she was unlikable.
Over time, however, I came to a startling realization: my instincts were misleading and perhaps a little foolish. It wasn’t an epiphany, but more of a gradual awakening, like trying to shake off sleep in the early hours and wanting nothing more than to stay snuggled in bed. This realization was uncomfortable.
How could I — an open-minded, ambitious woman myself — fall prey to sexist notions? Surely, my dislike couldn’t be rooted in sexism. Or could it?
The truth is, we are all influenced by the pervasive sexism that surrounds us. None of us exist in a bubble; our environments shape our perspectives. Just as a non-smoker may smell like cigarettes after being around smokers, we too are affected by the sexist culture ingrained in us over generations. Denying this is akin to pretending we don’t smell while pinching our noses.
It wasn’t until I acknowledged that I was shaped by a world that sends girls mixed messages — to be charming yet reserved, emotional yet stoic, and that our work is undervalued — that I began to see how my perceptions of women like Hillary Clinton had been colored over the years.
Born in the late 1970s, I was raised between the assertive Gen Xers and the ambitious Millennials, leaving me somewhat oblivious to the struggles faced by the women who came before me as they fought to break through barriers.
This slow, uncomfortable realization transformed how I viewed women like Hillary and that intimidating partner. The issue wasn’t them; it was me. The issue is us.
“I just don’t like her,” I hear so many people say. Yet when asked why, they often sputter nonsensical responses about emails or Benghazi, issues that have long been resolved. Hillary has consistently demonstrated her competence, dedication to public service, and capability as a leader. She was pivotal in establishing the State Children’s Health Insurance Program (CHIP), which aids families struggling to provide healthcare for their children, and played a key role in the Adoption and Safe Families Act. As a U.S. Senator, she secured $21 billion for the redevelopment of the World Trade Center site and championed healthcare for first responders. During her tenure as Secretary of State, she visited 112 countries, advocated for expanded roles in global economic matters, and oversaw multiple free trade agreements.
Yet here we are, debating her choice of pantsuits and whether she smiles enough. Seriously?
Over the past few months, I haven’t just learned to tolerate Hillary; I’ve genuinely come to like her. After attending a recent event where she spoke, I was even more convinced that she is the right person to lead this country forward. She is flawed, like all of us, and has faced her share of criticism and scandals. Show me someone in the public eye who hasn’t been scrutinized!
But despite her imperfections, she is a unifier, a champion for the underprivileged, and a voice for those often overlooked. She is authentic and relatable, inspiring those around her. If she were a man or had a different last name, we wouldn’t just like her; we’d adore her. That’s not her shortcoming; it’s ours.
We have a problem with sexism, celebrity worship, and fears disguised as dislike. Until we confront these issues collectively and individually, we’ll continue to breathe in toxic air while pretending it’s not an issue.
So, if your feelings about Hillary are simply “I just don’t like her,” I urge you to dig deeper. Reflect, research, and ask yourself why you feel this way. Then let’s have a real conversation.
Women, including Hillary, are held to impossible standards. We can’t be too serious without being labeled as “bitchy,” but we also can’t express emotion without being called “dramatic.” If we are ambitious, we’re chastised for neglecting our families, yet if we prioritize family, we’re criticized for being on the “mommy track.” There’s no winning here.
And we deceive ourselves if we think men are solely responsible for perpetuating these double standards. We’re all part of the problem — and the solution.
Although I have policy disagreements with Hillary, she remains the most qualified candidate in this election. Not to mention, she’s caring and thoughtful. We don’t need to like every aspect of a president; they aren’t our friends or coworkers with whom we share drinks. They are our leader, and while we may not agree with everything, it’s enough to align with the majority of their policies.
I might have favored Bernie in the past, but I would still choose Hillary over any alternative. Perfection in a candidate is a fantasy; we select the one who aligns most closely with our values. At times, as in this election, we must prioritize the candidate who can prevent a disaster from taking hold.
Simply put, we can’t afford to be anything but supportive of her. The stakes are too high. While I may not have voted for Hillary in 2008 or the spring of 2016, I’m proud to say I’m with her now.
If you’re still hesitant about supporting Hillary, that’s not her issue — it’s yours. If that orange character running against her ends up in the presidency due to your reluctance to set aside your “concerns,” you’ll be responsible for the repercussions we all face in the coming years.
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In summary, my initial dislike for Hillary Clinton reflected more about my own biases and societal conditioning than her actual character. Over time, I’ve come to recognize her strengths and capabilities as a leader. The biases we hold against women in power are deeply rooted, and it’s up to all of us to challenge and change these perceptions for the better.