Since welcoming my first child 16 years ago, I’ve noticed a growing trend among mothers celebrating their love for wine. While I know this phenomenon has existed in various forms—my friend often recounts tales of her mom and her pals sharing margaritas and cigarettes—it seems like today there’s an entire culture around mothers bonding over their need for a drink.
As someone who abstains from alcohol, I find this trend intriguing. I can understand why some mothers might seek a little relief from the chaos of parenting—believe me, I truly get it. Motherhood can be relentless, especially when you’re knee-deep in the daily grind of tending to your kids. Each mom has her own way of coping, some healthier than others.
I’ve seen plenty of “Mommy Needs Wine” memes that almost mockingly ask how those of us who don’t drink manage to get through motherhood. While I know these quips are made in jest, they’ve prompted me to reflect on my own strategies for tackling the challenges that often drive others to pour a glass.
Here’s my game plan:
Coffee, Coffee, and More Coffee.
I have my go-to beverage; it just happens to be caffeine instead of alcohol. My kids are well aware that I’m not fully functional until that first cup of coffee is down. It’s not merely the caffeine kick; it’s a luxurious moment of self-care that sets the tone for my day.
Coffee Shops.
Skip the bar scene—take me to a cozy coffee shop, and I’m in my element. I love escaping to my favorite local spots to enjoy a warm drink and catch up on writing.
Writing it Out.
Documenting my motherhood journey—both for fun and professionally—has become a therapeutic outlet for me. The act of writing helps me process my experiences and feelings.
Comradery with Fellow Moms.
I lean heavily on my mom friends for support. Knowing I’m not alone in wanting to hide in the bathroom sometimes helps me maintain my sanity.
Bathroom Breaks.
Let’s be real: I often retreat to the bathroom for a little peace and quiet. My family probably thinks I’ve developed an unusually long bathroom routine, but those moments of silence are a precious reprieve.
Occasional Big Cry.
I’m not a frequent crier, but when the tears come, it’s like a dam bursting. Whether it’s in the shower or on my partner’s shoulder, crying can be cathartic.
Exercise as Release.
Even though I’m not a fan of working out, I’ve realized that regular exercise significantly elevates my mood and helps me handle the stresses of motherhood.
Seeking Help.
I have no qualms about asking friends to watch my kids for a while. We often swap favors, so it’s mutually beneficial. Plus, my partner and I divide parenting and household responsibilities.
Continuous Learning.
Over the years, I’ve discovered that being a more effective mom involves gathering a toolbox of parenting strategies, so I spend time reading and researching. I collect parenting wisdom like some people collect memorabilia.
Mindfulness and Relaxation.
Whether or not you have a religious practice, I believe that most moms can benefit from mindfulness techniques to help us regain focus and soothe our overwhelmed minds.
Truthfully, being a non-drinking mom can feel a bit isolating at times. I sometimes wonder, “Do I still belong if I’m not part of the drinking crowd?” It’s fascinating how often alcohol comes up in conversations and pop culture surrounding parenting.
Maybe I should create my own meme: “This Mom Doesn’t Do Whine — or Wine.” Not quite the same ring, huh?
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In summary, my approach to motherhood without alcohol revolves around coffee, community, self-care, and continuous learning. By embracing my unique coping mechanisms, I’ve managed to navigate the challenges of parenting with grace and humor—no wine required.