“Duck rhymes with the F-word. The bad one.”
Well, that was a close one.
“The one spelled f-u-c-k.”
This delightful little nugget of knowledge was bellowed by our 6-year-old at a volume that could rival a rock concert, right in the middle of a packed New Orleans restaurant during a holiday dinner. A few adults turned to stare, some offered sympathetic smiles, while others exchanged knowing glances. One particularly polished woman shook her head in disapproval.
“That’s correct, but not something we should discuss here. Also, let’s use our inside voices. Thank you.”
Meanwhile, my husband and I resumed our conversation about gumbo and the upcoming Tennessee football game. Our little one returned to coloring a bright blue duck on her menu, completely unbothered by the judgmental glances from the well-mannered lady.
Despite her disapproval, we weren’t fazed by our child’s expanding vocabulary. Here’s why:
I Want My Child to Know All the Words.
While my daughter can certainly create an impressive castle, her main mode of communication is verbal. She’s never asked for a snack through interpretive dance, nor has she sought help with reading by crafting a lovely poem. To express herself well, she needs to grasp the full range of vocabulary. She must differentiate between “eager” and “anxious,” or “frustrated” and “angry.” At her age, she’s collecting words and figuring out their nuances. To explore this linguistic landscape, she needs to feel free to experiment with them. So, we let her.
She Needs to Learn to Use Her Words Responsibly.
When my daughter drops the “F” bomb, I can explain that it’s inappropriate given the context first, and her age second. If she persists, we can discuss safe and suitable consequences, since choosing to use certain words can carry repercussions. Let’s assume, in line with the polished lady, that it’s utterly unacceptable for my child to explore the F-word at this stage.
However, when my teenage daughter, who is outside my watchful eye, uses that same word, she might trigger a response from someone else that escalates into a verbal battle. I’d much rather endure the side-eye from fine dining aficionados than jeopardize my child’s safety over a single word.
I Don’t Want Words to Control My Child.
Words have enormous power—they can heal, uplift, or devastate. My daughter, a beautiful blend of cultures and races, was adopted by two parents who look nothing like her. She’s competitive, outspoken, and sometimes a bit aggressive. There will be plenty of moments when words could be turned against her. We’ll tackle those challenges when they arise. For now, I refuse to give undue power to words, especially when that power is artificially inflated. There are valid contexts for every word. If I react with horror or amusement to sharp words, I risk dulling her understanding of their true impact and impairing her ability to discern when they should be used.
While she might know the word, I can assure you that she doesn’t know its definition—or even what a “clothes hamper” is, based on her actions! Instead of fighting fire with fire, we focus on more pressing parenting questions, like “Is this the best approach for us right now?” So far, the answer has been a resounding “heck yes.”
If you’re interested in more insightful discussions about parenting and insemination, visit some of our other blogs, including this one about family-building options through intrauterine insemination, which is an excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination. For those looking into self insemination, check out Cryobaby’s at-home insemination kit for expert advice.
In summary, rather than scolding kids for using colorful language, we should guide them in understanding and responsibly using words. Encouraging open exploration of language helps them develop better communication skills while ensuring they learn the importance of context and appropriateness.