It was absolutely flawless. The color scheme was all beige, white, and a delicate muted pink. There was even pastel bunting hanging from the window, a cozy armchair that rocked, and the crib was perfectly coordinated with everything else. Clearly, this dreamy room had been plucked straight from Pinterest and turned into reality. I stumbled upon it during an early morning scroll through Facebook, chuckled at the new parents with their seemingly endless free time, and then—bam!—the envy hit me.
I mean, she had an actual crib. We didn’t have a crib, matching or otherwise. We knew our little one would be sleeping with us, so we attached a co-sleeper to our queen-sized bed—nestled in our cluttered, non-Pinterest-worthy bedroom. We opted for cloth diapers, so there was no cute diaper cake at our non-existent baby shower. Living too far from family and having friends who were broke grad students meant no celebration for us.
Sure, we turned an old Ethan Allen wet bar into a changing table, but it was more about functionality than adorableness. It didn’t match anything, especially not the rickety rocker we snagged on sale at the local big-box baby store. We basically shoved all the baby stuff into a room that happened to be yellow and didn’t get a fresh coat of paint, along with a dresser from a deceased relative and some Dr. Seuss decals.
I know we made the right choices for us. I’m not one for Pinterest perfection, and the thought of spending money on a baby bedding set with all the frills makes me cringe. Yet, I still find myself longing for that picture-perfect pregnancy and my son’s idealized babyhood. That longing sometimes manifests as pure jealousy. Those pretty nurseries make my blood boil; cute diaper cakes make me want to scream.
My pregnancy was anything but Pinterest-worthy. I dealt with morning sickness, prenatal depression, and anxiety that had me choking down panic attacks over sweet tea from Chick-Fil-A. With all that going on, plus a midwife urging me to lower my blood sugar, I never got that so-called “pregnancy glow.”
And I know I’m not alone in this sentiment. A quick Google search of “percentage of people who hate being pregnant” leads you down a rabbit hole of shared misery. There are countless articles discussing why women should talk about their struggles, why many detest it, and tips on how to cope. One particularly striking article is titled simply: “Pregnant and Miserable: Prenatal Depression.”
According to the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, “between 14-23% of women will struggle with some symptoms of depression during pregnancy.” That’s a significant number of women who aren’t in the mood for a nursery makeover, let alone a baby shower.
Yet, as the depression fades or gets treated, you find yourself holding your baby and realizing how different your experience was compared to those Pinterest-perfect images. You see the glow on other moms’ faces and wonder, “Why didn’t I do that?” Those beautiful nursery themes and smiling photos on social media can feel like a slap in the face when you remember your own chaotic journey.
I fully understand that life isn’t like what we see on social media. That pristine nursery will soon face the realities of baby poop, spit-up, and diaper changes. The mom might dress her baby in a pristine outfit adorned with a giant bow, only for the baby to unleash a disastrous diaper explosion. Oh, I can take solace in that; it’s a universal experience.
Still, there’s a part of me that yearns for that Pinterest nursery. It symbolizes a fleeting moment when parenthood seemed like a perfect dream. You feel the gentle kicks of your baby while envisioning tea parties, mother-daughter outings, and all things pastel and lovely. It’s a hopeful time when you stand at the brink of an incredible adventure, bursting with joy.
Some of us experienced those moments; others did not. And for those of us who didn’t, it’s okay to feel that twinge of envy, even if it’s uncomfortable. So, let it out. But remember, that envy reflects your own experience, not the curated nursery on social media.
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Summary:
This piece reflects on the author’s feelings of envy toward others’ Pinterest-perfect nurseries while acknowledging her own less-than-ideal pregnancy experience, filled with challenges like depression and lack of support. It captures the complex emotions surrounding motherhood and the societal expectations that can lead to jealousy. Ultimately, it encourages readers to embrace their unique journeys, recognizing that comparisons often reflect personal feelings rather than reality.