We often hear about the struggles faced by the second-born child, but let’s not forget the trials of the firstborn. This poor soul gets all the attention and gifts initially, while parents, in their cluelessness, obsess over every little noise and movement. They’re the ones who, much to the dismay of overly pampered pets, take over the household hierarchy, booting furry companions off their cozy spots and stealing their coveted walks. But what about the firstborn?
As a second-born myself, I’ve always felt sympathy for my plight, thinking we got the short end of the stick. However, as I observe my first daughter blossom, I’ve come to realize that the firstborn actually bears a unique burden that often goes unnoticed and it seems their stick is covered in more mess than mine ever was.
At 17 months, my first child faced a significant life alteration—the arrival of her baby sister. The moment we brought the little one home, my firstborn walked right up to her and gave her a good smack on the head. A classic introduction, right? Even at that tender age, my daughter seemed to grasp that she had been dethroned, now playing second fiddle to this squawking bundle of joy.
One of the most defining aspects of this so-called firstborn curse is the sudden withdrawal of attention and its impact on their development. They start to wonder where all the focus has gone and why they’ve been replaced by a drooling, giggling creature that reeks of baby formula. At this point, the firstborn has two paths: strive for perfection to win back parental affection or become a little tyrant in their quest to sabotage the new sibling.
Most firstborns tend to choose the former, showcasing exemplary behavior, taking on chores, and striving to please everyone around them. Others, however, think that’s a waste of effort and opt for a more dramatic approach: plotting the demise of the new baby. Seriously, leave these kiddos unsupervised for more than a few moments, and chaos might ensue.
I once heard of a firstborn who was found gleefully bouncing on top of their baby sibling, inadvertently performing the Heimlich maneuver and sending a wave of spit-up flying. Firstborn, 1. Second-born, 0.
As I’ve observed, firstborns often grow to resent their mischievous younger siblings, who can be quite the handful. While many firstborns have impressive control, push them too far, and watch out! When they snap, they transform into a wild, unrecognizable version of themselves, leaving parents wondering if they’ve held them to impossible standards. In their effort to re-establish their role, they may revert to organizing toy bins and Tupperware, hoping desperately for some recognition.
If you have a firstborn determined to maintain their position as the reigning monarch, they will employ all sorts of tactics—everything from emotional manipulation to outright sabotage. Parents might find themselves investing in some quality anti-anxiety medication and bracing for the long haul, as they navigate this sibling rivalry.
When I look at my firstborn, I can’t help but feel a twinge of sadness that our special moments together were clipped short when her baby sister arrived. She has had to mature quickly, often watching her younger sibling get away with antics that would have earned her a stern talking-to. I wish I could have given her more time and reassurance that she remained my queen.
Despite everything, she has blossomed into a wonderful child, and I truly believe that the firstborn’s curse will drive her to seize life and achieve remarkable things. She is determined, full of love, and will always be my cherished firstborn.
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Summary
The article humorously explores the challenges faced by firstborn children, who often find themselves struggling for attention after the arrival of a younger sibling. It discusses the two paths firstborns can take—seeking perfection or creating chaos—as they navigate their new roles in the family dynamic. Ultimately, it highlights the growth and resilience of firstborns as they adapt to their circumstances.