In the early days of our marriage, things were sizzling every night. I often reminisce about those delightful times, where we took our sweet time, indulging in every moment without interruptions. If we weren’t satisfied the first time, we’d dive back in for round two—repeatedly, until we felt content. We explored every possible setting—kitchen counters, couches, the bedroom, and even the patio under the stars.
Then came the kids, and suddenly, dinnertime transformed into a chaotic circus.
People love to give advice before you take the plunge into parenthood, but no one ever warns you that you might not enjoy a hot meal for nearly a decade. (Maybe six years if you’re lucky and have just one child, but that’s wishful thinking.) You could spend hours crafting a gourmet meal or simply heat up some frozen chicken nuggets and mac and cheese; either way, by the time you sit down to eat, everything is cold and unappetizing.
First, you have to serve everyone else. If you have more than one child, this can eat up a significant chunk of your time. Toddlers complicate things further with their demands for specific plates (“Not the blue one! I want the yellow one!”) and endless drink debates (“Juice! No, milk! No, in the dinosaur cup!”). If picky eaters are in the mix, you’ll spend extra minutes removing any “yucky” bits like onions or carrots—or at least hiding them.
As a mindful parent, you’ll devote additional moments to cutting everything into tiny, non-choking-hazard-sized pieces. And if there’s meat involved, better add a few more minutes if you’re particular about uniformity (not that I would know anything about that, ahem).
Then comes the best part: you’ll have to blow on your food until you’re almost hyperventilating because everything is “too hot.”
Just as you finally sit down, fork in hand, someone will inevitably spill. A mere 4 ounces of juice will somehow transform into a 12-ounce lake that takes forever to clean up. You’ll suddenly remember that napkins are a must-have.
Someone will drop their spoon, necessitating a replacement because the dog decided it was a chew toy. Of course, there are no clean spoons left, so you’ll have to wash one or, let’s be real, just wipe it on your shirt—no judgment here.
Then there’s the endless chorus of “I want salt!” followed by a dramatic request for a new portion when it’s deemed too salty. Someone will shout that you forgot their gummy vitamins, and amidst all of this chaos, one child will finish eating and demand seconds, sending you back to square one of the serving and cutting process.
Dining out might slightly improve your chances of enjoying a hot meal, but you’ll still be cutting and blowing on food while shelling out six bucks for a kids’ meal that results in two French fries and a fully dismantled corn dog.
Someday, your kids will be older, and you’ll dream of those leisurely dinners again—only to find that evening sports, social engagements, and other distractions will have you shoving food down your throat without chewing.
In the meantime, I have some sage advice: investing in a decent microwave is a game-changer. Seriously, make sure to add that to your baby registry.
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Summary
Parenthood brings a whirlwind of challenges, especially at mealtime. Gone are the days of intimate dinners; now, it’s a chaotic race against time to serve and appease picky eaters. A good microwave becomes your best friend, and while it may feel overwhelming, there’s hope on the horizon for quieter dinners in the future.