Let’s just say, I hit my breaking point this morning. Like, full-on meltdown.
After getting the kids ready for school—clothes on, breakfast devoured, teeth brushed, and backpacks packed—I decided to turn on the TV. I have this rule: the kids can only watch specific channels. With all the garbage out there—shows targeted at teens and pre-teens that glorify disrespectful behavior—I can’t afford to have my kids influenced by those obnoxious role models. So, I’m in charge of the remote, and changing the channel without permission? Not happening.
But Annabelle, bless her heart, never fails to test this rule. The second I step out of the room, she’s there, remote in hand, flipping through channels like she’s on a mission to find the most obnoxious show featuring smart-mouthed teens. This morning was no exception. As soon as I switched it to Nick Jr.—for Finn, mind you—Annabelle was off to the races, changing the channel.
“Leave the TV alone, Annabelle!” I barked, turning back to the kitchen. A few minutes later, I caught her again, and that’s when I completely lost it.
Screaming ensued. “I’VE TOLD YOU A THOUSAND TIMES TO LEAVE THE TV ALONE!!” I hollered. “GO TO YOUR ROOM! SIT THERE UNTIL IT’S TIME FOR SCHOOL. NOW!!!” She just stood there, frozen. “GO!!” I yelled again, and the rest of the kids paused, wide-eyed as I sprinted after Annabelle, who managed to lock herself in her room just before I reached her.
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU LOCKED THE DOOR?!” I exclaimed, feeling my blood pressure skyrocket. “I’M GOING TO KILL HER!” I muttered under my breath. “MOM! Are you really going to kill Annabelle? Did you just say that?!” Daisy wailed from the hallway. “OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW!” I shouted. Annabelle reluctantly unlocked it, and I was not having it. “Don’t you ever lock the door against me again!” I said, my voice dripping with frustration.
Meanwhile, Michael was trying to calm me down. “Leave me alone!” I snapped. “I do EVERYTHING for all of you—including YOU!—and you all treat me like garbage! Every last one of you!”
I know, I know. All this over an eight-year-old changing the channel. But it’s not just about that, is it? It’s the cumulative stress of my morning: Finn throwing a fit at breakfast, Joey’s dramatic meltdown about not getting an Instagram account (he’s ten, for crying out loud!), the endless bickering, the constant demands. Asking someone to set the table feels like I’m asking them to climb Everest. It’s also about how often I feel like a single parent, especially when Michael’s away.
I’m not trying to excuse my freak-out; I’m ashamed of losing my cool. I wish I could handle it better. I understand that kids are just being kids and that their behavior isn’t personal. But some days, motherhood feels like a colossal “Forget You.” This is why people say parenting is tough—not because it’s intellectually challenging (though it can be), or because it requires bravery (which it does), but because it’s emotionally draining. It’s the thankless grind that often feels like a one-way street. I pour so much of myself into them, and they barely acknowledge it.
I’m not fishing for praise or a “thank you,” but a little cooperation would go a long way. Just a smidge of respect for rules that aren’t unreasonable!
It’s tough to admit these feelings in a world where everyone seems to celebrate motherhood. Yes, there are fulfilling moments, but let’s be real: sometimes it’s just hard. Maybe I’m sharing this to connect with others or to vent.
When I finally got back from dropping the kids off, guess what I found? Annabelle had forgotten her lunch. Who do you think hustled back to school with the baby and Finn to deliver it? Yep, that’s right—this tired mom, because that’s just what we do.
For more on navigating the ups and downs of motherhood, check out this post. And if you’re looking for reliable resources on home insemination, Make A Mom is a great place to start. For further information on fertility services, Hopkins Medicine is an excellent resource.
Summary
Motherhood can be overwhelming and emotionally draining, especially when kids test boundaries and create chaos at home. Despite the challenges, moms continue to show up and support their families, often feeling unappreciated. It’s important to acknowledge both the struggles and joys of parenting while seeking connection and understanding from others.