“Poor” is a word with a lot of weight, and its meaning can vary greatly. For some, like those without a roof over their heads or a meal in their bellies, someone living in subsidized housing might seem quite fortunate. However, by the standards of typical American comfort, my childhood — particularly after my parents split up — was undeniably marked by financial struggle. My mother and I squeezed into a rundown apartment with a minuscule kitchenette and just enough room for a well-worn sofa bed. We relied on government assistance, I donned hand-me-down clothes, and I learned to whip up a mean bowl of ramen noodles.
Looking back, there were times when I felt deeply ashamed of our situation, like when I had to use food stamps at the grocery store — yes, back when they were actual paper “bills” you had to peel off a booklet. But I also gained a treasure trove of lessons that have shaped who I am today, and that I hope to share with my own kids.
1. Welfare Isn’t Always Abuse
Let’s clear this up: not everyone on welfare is trying to game the system. Yes, there are stories of those who take advantage, but many, like my mom, use these programs as a necessary stepping stone. She constantly reminded me that our situation was temporary and that she was working hard to get us back on our feet, even pulling double shifts and attending night classes.
2. Creativity is Key
When you’re on a tight budget, finding savings becomes a skill. Thrift shops and yard sales can be goldmines if you’re willing to search. You learn to make your own laundry detergent and become a pro at spotting the best sales. Knowing which stores have double-coupon days becomes second nature.
3. Conservation is Non-Negotiable
When every drop of water counts, you learn to stretch resources. I still remember filling the bathtub in anticipation of our water getting shut off and making it last for days. Even today, I pour just enough milk on my cereal to barely dampen it, and I’ve learned to appreciate the warm glow of candles, especially when they help cut down on the electric bill.
4. Perspective is a Game-Changer
Government cheese might not be gourmet, but it can feel like a feast when you’ve been living off empty cabinets. And while driving a clunky old car in the sweltering summer may seem like a hassle, it’s a luxury compared to walking everywhere or relying on public transport.
5. Being Poor Can Be Expensive
I might not have a degree in economics, but I learned early on that financial strain often leads to more costs. Overdraft fees and disconnection charges are just a few examples. Buying in bulk can be cheaper, but when your weekly budget is tight, you often have to pay more for individual items — it just doesn’t make sense!
6. Avoid the Comparison Trap
In life, comparing yourself to others can only lead to unhappiness. No matter how well you’re doing, there’s always someone who seems to be doing better. Focusing on your own journey is crucial for your mental well-being.
7. Kindness is Everywhere
I’ll never forget that moment when my best buddy’s mom said she couldn’t let her stay over because we didn’t have enough food. It stung, but shortly after, we started receiving anonymous food deliveries on our doorstep. My mom was embarrassed, but we were incredibly grateful for the generosity.
8. Little Things Matter
Before the tough times hit, I had extravagant birthday parties, but the one that stands out is the simple picnic my mom organized with two Lunchables outside our apartment. It was a small joy, but it meant the world to me.
9. Hustle and Resourcefulness
From donating plasma to babysitting, I learned that there are many ways to make extra cash when needed. Sometimes, you have to think outside the box — even if it means stepping out of your comfort zone.
10. Treat Yourself Occasionally
Critics often wonder how those in poverty can afford “luxuries” like coffee or cigarettes. The truth is, a little indulgence can be a much-needed break from the stress of daily life. Even in tough times, everyone deserves a small treat to keep their spirits up.
If given the choice, I wouldn’t want to relive any of those struggles. Yet, those experiences fostered empathy, resilience, and a perspective that helps me navigate life’s challenges today. It’s ironic how some of the most valuable lessons come from times of hardship, making them truly priceless.
In summary, my upbringing taught me resourcefulness, the power of generosity, and the importance of perspective. While I wouldn’t wish poverty on anyone, it certainly shaped my character in ways that are hard to quantify.