Every stage of childhood brings its own unique hurdles. You navigate the sleepless nights of newborn life, stumble through infancy, skip through the toddler phase, and race around during early childhood and the tween years. Then, just when you think you might finally catch your breath, you find yourself in the chaotic whirlwind of raising teenagers.
“It’s going to be amazing!” they all said. “They’re so independent! They sleep late! They can make their own meals! They do their own laundry! They even drive themselves to school and activities! Their personalities really shine!” Sounds like a dream, right? For many, including myself, that dream has turned into a bit of a nightmare.
Let’s just say, calling these years challenging is a gross understatement. You might have pictured this time as a chance for a break, thinking that teenagers would need less supervision. But instead, it’s become a headache that lingers from year 13 until they finally move out. Those years you once looked forward to? Now, you just want them to end—like, yesterday. They’re nothing like you imagined.
And guess what? It’s completely okay if you’re not enjoying this phase of motherhood. Just as some moms dread the newborn days while others adore them, some parents click with their teenagers, embracing their ever-changing moods and personalities, while others do not. And I’m in the latter camp.
Honestly, the teen years hit me like a freight train. I felt like I’d stepped into a college dorm, navigating one messy room after another. The sweet little child I once knew has turned into a version of a grumpy stranger, and I often find myself wondering where my son went. Friends with teenage daughters share similar tales: one minute, they’re sweet and mild, and the next, they’ve transformed into a drama queen worthy of a royal court—guess who’s the servant? You!
Whether your kid is a boy or a girl, the teen years are not for the faint-hearted. If you find yourself reminiscing about the days when you could solve problems with a nap and a cookie, you’re not alone. Many of us are grappling with the frustration and challenges of this stage. If the teen years aren’t your favorite, that doesn’t mean you’re a bad mom. I assure you, you can still raise decent teenagers while feeling like you want to pull your hair out.
I’ve navigated one teenager, am nearly through the second, and I’m confident I’ll survive the next rounds of teen chaos—not that I’ll enjoy every moment (because, let’s be real, I won’t). I refuse to feel guilty for not wanting to cuddle with the moody stranger who has commandeered my son’s personality, or for rolling my eyes as he devours two pizzas in record time without so much as a “thank you.” One crucial lesson I’ve learned about parenting teens is to not take it personally. Your lovable child is still there, I promise. Underneath all that attitude is the little boy or girl you once knew, and they do come back.
Mine did a few weeks after he headed off to college. The same kid who insisted he didn’t need me anymore transformed back into a young man who wanted his mom. And honestly, that makes all the years of teen drama worth it. It might just be the best feeling in the world.
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Summary
Navigating the tumultuous teen years can be a challenge for many parents. While some moms embrace this stage, others find it tough, longing for simpler times. It’s normal to feel frustrated and overwhelmed, but remember, the lovable child you once knew is still there beneath the teenage attitude. With time, they often return to their roots, bringing warmth and connection back into your relationship.