I know which of my kids drifts off to sleep on her back and which one wakes up with an empty stomach. I can tell which one craves cuddles and which one prefers her space. I recognize their footsteps as they sneak down the hallway, giggling while getting into trouble. I know who loves to color and who gets lost in a whirlwind of imagination. I cherish the sweet secrets they share with me while we sit together on the porch, watching the rain fall.
I join them on the floor, a front-row witness to their incredible creations, adventures, and the thrill of the tallest tower they’ve built yet. I dance in the middle of the day when we all just need a moment of silliness. I shower them with kisses and hugs, saying, “Sweetheart, don’t you realize how brave you are?”
I strive to be a great mom.
But then, something happens: a toy falls, juice spills, or chaos ensues. They wrestle too hard, take their time to follow directions, or utter words I’ve asked them to avoid. They push boundaries and make poor choices.
They’re just being kids, right? Yet, in those moments, I feel myself break.
In an instant, I transform into the parent I vowed never to be, raising my voice to a level I had hoped to avoid. My children freeze — I have their full attention. Suddenly, I’m no longer composed; I’m a fragmented, impatient, exhausted version of myself, taking out my frustrations on them.
I feel like a terrible parent. The worst.
I become consumed by the fear that I’m going to mess up my children. How will they reconcile the fun, creative, loving mom who occasionally declares ice cream for dinner with the frustrated, overwhelmed mom who snaps when they take too long to put on their shoes?
The intensity of my emotions takes me by surprise. It makes me question my ability to raise my children with love, strength, and confidence.
Sometimes, what I see in myself screams failure. Plain and simple: I’m failing at parenting.
Am I the only mom who feels like she’s pouring her heart into this but still not measuring up?
I can’t be the only one. Am I?
We compare ourselves to other moms, mentally tallying our shortcomings: the laundry left undone, the projects left unfinished, the messy kitchen. We snap at our children, forget to return calls, and struggle to relish every moment. We don’t rise early, don’t practice yoga, and don’t whip up every meal from scratch. We’re exhausted, running late, frustrated, and barely keeping our heads above water.
We seem put together until we don’t.
We are patient until we reach our breaking point.
We recognize grace until we become blind to it.
But it’s in these moments that we must pause.
The grace hasn’t vanished; rather, we become incapable of seeing it.
When we focus only on the shadows, we lose sight of the light.
We feel inadequate because we’re measuring ourselves against a false ideal. We conjure an image of a woman with a perfect life: a flawless marriage, a body sculpted by daily 5 a.m. workouts, gourmet organic meals, spotless bathrooms, well-behaved children, and a packed schedule of PTA meetings and charitable acts. We set impossible standards and interpret our inability to meet them as failure.
These unrealistic benchmarks distort our perspective, obscuring the grace in our daily lives that lights our way. When we learn to reject these unattainable expectations, we start to fill the sky with stars that cut through the darkness, allowing us to appreciate the beauty around us.
Mom, you might feel like you’re failing.
But you’re not.
You’re doing wonderfully.
Your children don’t need a mom who worries about maintaining control or measuring up to Pinterest ideals. They need a mom who lives fully, loves deeply, and is wholeheartedly present.
We don’t need to strive for perfection; instead, we should focus on infusing our everyday moments with immense love.
It is this love that can dispel the feeling of not being good enough. Love is present in the mornings, in the pool splashing with tiny ones, and in the endless cycle of meal preparation. Love reminds us that every part of our life holds significance and that the ordinary is where we find grace. Love propels us forward, helps us navigate the chaos, and allows us to embrace the wild, exhausting, yet magical journey of parenting.
Love is vast, powerful, and fierce. It holds us as we nurture our children, and it tenderly comforts them when they need it most. Love is both demanding and selfless, a constant reminder that it ultimately prevails.
Love matters, and it’s what your children see when they look at you.
So, moms, you’re not failing; you love your kids fiercely. Silence those not-good-enough thoughts whispering that you need to do more, be more, or achieve more, and then turn that fierce love toward yourself as well.
Keep doing what you’re doing, tackling each small task with great love. Look around at this incredible life you’ve built and take note of the stars shining brightly.
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Summary
The journey of motherhood can often feel overwhelming, leading many moms to question their abilities and compare themselves against unrealistic standards. It’s essential to recognize that love is the cornerstone of effective parenting, and embracing our imperfections can help us appreciate the beauty in our everyday lives. By focusing on small moments filled with big love, we can silence the not-good-enough voices and nurture both ourselves and our children.