This year, I hit the big 4-1. The best present I received came from my little brother, who said, “I swear, you’re more of everything you’ve ever been — louder, more confident, more fun, more passionate — and it’s simply beautiful.” Those words shifted my perspective entirely. Since my 40th birthday, I’ve felt a noticeable change within myself. I woke up one day and realized I was just… different. I felt an overwhelming sense of happiness and confidence that I had never experienced before. I felt complete, alive, and ready to tackle my own goals — the ones solely for me. But with these uplifting feelings came a hint of darkness, as it can be unsettling to witness such a transformation in oneself.
Fast forward over a year later, and it’s clear to me that this is what many refer to as a midlife crisis — but I’m calling nonsense on that. Let’s retire that phrase. The internal shift many of us experience (which can occur at various stages in our lives) isn’t a midlife crisis; it’s about evolving into a fuller version of ourselves, preparing to pursue what truly ignites our passion.
Life is a continuous journey of change. Eventually, it’s time to refocus on you. You’ve navigated the newborn phase, the toddler years, and maybe even the teenage trials. As your kids embark on their own adventures, they gradually become less reliant on you. You’re no longer on diaper duty, cleaning up toys, or hosting playdates. While your devotion to them remains strong, you finally find some precious moments to invest in yourself.
This can feel selfish — both to others and to ourselves — yet it’s not. It’s a crucial opportunity to confront insecurities and prioritize self-care. Your soul is calling out, and it’s essential to heed that call.
Change can be daunting, especially after years of what feels like the same repetitive routine. Women often cling to these patterns as a survival mechanism during those early parenting years. When you finally catch your breath, enjoy some free time, or retreat to your room for a moment of solitude because your kids are older, it can feel disorienting. Guilt and sadness may creep in, but this is also the perfect time to reassess your goals, revisit long-held dreams, and invest in personal growth.
I struggled significantly when my children became more independent. Looking back, I realize I was almost scared to confront myself. I knew I had some soul-searching to do and wanted more from life than just being a mother and a spouse. Facing that truth was tough; for the first time in decades, I didn’t have a clear plan.
We all follow a societal script: attend school, grow up, get a job, marry, buy a house, and start a family. But what happens after reaching those major milestones? We start questioning our lives, asking ourselves, “Is this truly what I want for my next chapter? Is this how I want to live my life until the end?”
Sometimes, these reflections lead to the realization that it’s time to shed what no longer serves us and let go of relationships that hold us back. It’s liberating; the more baggage we release, the more space we make for what truly inspires us. We often cling to our comfort zones because they feel safer than venturing into the unknown. That’s why when some decide to break free, they’re labeled as experiencing a “crisis.”
In truth, it’s not a crisis at all; it’s a new beginning, a journey of self-discovery, a rebirth. We are allowed to change, to seek new experiences, to step outside our comfort zones, and to embrace more of who we are.
So go out there, pursue your passions, and don’t let anyone hold you back. For more insights on navigating this journey, check out our post about the home insemination kit, and if you’re looking for ways to enhance your fertility, Make a Mom has some great advice. For further information on pregnancy and home insemination, the CDC is an excellent resource.