Every holiday season brings a mix of joy and stress, and I’ve learned my lessons the hard way. This year, I’m determined to be wiser and avoid the pitfalls that have previously led to chaos. Here’s a list of what I will not do this Christmas:
- Craft homemade gifts. While they may be infused with love, not every loved one appreciates a hand-knitted scarf or a lopsided ornament (especially if they’re on the naughty list).
- Use colorful language in front of my kids while untangling the Christmas lights. The battle of tree versus lights can bring out my inner Grinch, but I need to keep it together for the little ones.
- Leave my holiday budget spreadsheet open on the computer. It’s never fun to face a lecture about overspending during the festive season.
- Buy my mother-in-law a “New Jersey Sights” calendar, hoping she’ll embrace the state I’ve brought her son to. Her Rhode Island roots might forever color her view of our garden state.
- Attempt to make a gingerbread house with my kids. Seriously, who thought icing would be a suitable glue?
- Spend money on educational toys. I already have enough unopened science kits and math games taking up space in my home.
- Rely on my partner to water the Christmas tree. If he can’t remember to feed the dog, I can’t expect him to care for a giant plant!
- Bake and gift sugar-free sugar cookies. This has proven to be a surefire way to lose friends over the years.
- Drop subtle hints about my Christmas wishes. Let’s be real; my partner isn’t exactly a mind reader.
- Wear a wool turtleneck to Christmas Eve service. There’s nothing like adding discomfort to an already lengthy service.
- Wait until 10 PM on Christmas Eve to hunt for batteries. Discovering that a much-anticipated remote-control helicopter won’t fly on Christmas morning is a recipe for disappointment.
- Leave my dog unmonitored near Santa’s cookie platter. Enough said; we all know how that ends.
- Turn off the classic “A Christmas Story” at any point during Christmas Day. The endless banter about the perils of the Red Ryder BB gun is essential to the holiday spirit.
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In summary, this Christmas, I’m focusing on what truly matters, steering clear of past mistakes, and ensuring a stress-free holiday season for my family.
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