For over a decade, my partner and I navigated the bustling streets of major cities like San Francisco and New York City with our kids. When our oldest hit 14 and our youngest was just 5, we took a leap of faith and relocated to a quaint college town with a mere 30,000 residents—most of whom are students—surrounded by sprawling farmland. The nearest sizable city is a good hour and a half away. While our new home isn’t exactly a one-stoplight village, it’s a significant shift from the urban jungle we knew.
I was a bundle of excitement and nerves. I spent my early years in a tiny town, while my partner grew up in a community of just 8,000. Honestly, the downsides of small-town life seemed to far outweigh the positives. But not all towns are equal, and the one we chose has more to offer than the ones from our youth. After two years, I’ve uncovered some fantastic benefits to raising kids in a small town, alongside a few things I wish were different.
The Bright Side of Small Town Parenting
Safety
Moving to a place where many friends leave their doors unlocked was a bit strange. I mean, it’s not that they are irresponsible; they simply don’t feel the need to. I’ve met folks who have lived here forever and don’t bother locking their vehicles, often leaving their keys inside. Sure, bad things can happen anywhere, but crime here is significantly lower than even the safer suburbs of New York. It’s a comforting luxury.
Traffic
I had no clue how much time we wasted in traffic back in the city. Now, we can drive across town in just 10 minutes. There’s another town 15 minutes away with more stores and restaurants, and we make a 30-minute journey to a bigger city for Costco. But traffic? It’s practically non-existent. Rush hour is more like a 15-minute inconvenience, and it’s a relief not to have to plan our days around gridlock.
Community
In the city, we had friends, family, and acquaintances scattered all over, with a loose sense of community. Here, there’s a warm small-town camaraderie that’s quite wonderful. Even with a significant number of transient residents in our college town, the feeling of community is tangible, and it’s nice to have that “I know someone who can help” network.
Simplicity
Initially, I was worried about losing the endless activities the big city offered, but it turns out there’s beauty in having fewer options. Life is less complicated with less to choose from. With fewer museums, parks, and extracurricular activities, decision fatigue has significantly lessened, leading to simpler yet enjoyable outings.
The Flip Side of Small Town Parenting
Limited Diversity
While our university town does introduce some degree of cultural diversity, it’s still not comparable to the rich variety found in a big city. Without the college presence, our town would be pretty homogenous. It’s crucial for us that our kids grow up with a broad perspective, so we actively seek out cultural events at the university to expand their horizons.
Fewer Opportunities
I stand by my belief that a simpler life is often preferable, but it can be tough when my kids express interest in activities our town doesn’t offer. We can usually find something, but not everything. Want to try your hand at trapeze? Sorry, kiddo. Hoping to see an opera? That’s a 90-minute drive. Major concerts? Five hours away.
Nostalgia for the City
There’s an undeniable magic to urban life. While I don’t miss the chaos and congestion, I do occasionally long for the sight of the city skyline glowing at night. I miss the thrill of explorations in the city, the stunning architecture, and the palpable energy of a vibrant community. Taking the train into the city with the kids was always an adventure.
Less Complexity
Simplicity does play an essential role in childhood, but so does complexity. I sometimes ponder what our kids might be missing—learning to navigate public transport, experiencing world-class art and culture, understanding economic disparities, and more. Are we doing them a disservice by sheltering them from the intricacies of city life?
As with everything, there are trade-offs. It’s nearly impossible to find a place that ticks every box for raising children; each location has its perks and pitfalls. I’m grateful for the chance to raise kids in both a bustling city and a sleepy town, as it allows us to appreciate the benefits and drawbacks of each environment.
Ultimately, no option is inherently better than the other. Regardless of our location, we can ensure our kids thrive in their surroundings. We can teach them to flourish wherever life takes them and encourage them to explore different lifestyles. And whether in a big city or a small town, we can create a nurturing home that they’ll always want to return to.
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