When you’re a mom of a child facing speech delays, you might find yourself riding an emotional rollercoaster. I know this firsthand; when my son, Alex, was born with Down syndrome, I expected he might experience some delays in language development. As the months passed, I noticed that the age at which he should have started talking came and went—leaving me with a mix of hope and concern. Now, at age 10, Alex has a vocabulary of about 20 words and primarily communicates through sign language and a speech-generating device. He’s been working hard to approximate words, focusing on vowel sounds while still leaving out consonants.
As a speech-language pathologist, I’m surrounded by other moms who share similar worries about their children’s speech. Here’s a glimpse into the thoughts that often race through a mother’s mind while waiting for her child to find their voice:
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“It’s early; my child will talk soon.”
Initially, you may notice some language delays and think it’s just a phase. Some moms seek evaluations for their children, while others cling to hope and give it more time. I remember feeling reassured when Alex picked up the sign for “more.” It felt like a sign that he was absorbing language even without speaking it. -
“Why isn’t she talking yet? She should be by now!”
After some time, a wave of worry can wash over you as you see your child’s peers chatting away. This phase can last for months or even years as you start to wonder if something is wrong. I vividly recall my anxiety when Alex was 2 and only managing a couple of words. I threw myself into helping him, convinced that I could make a difference. -
“A new sound! Could it be?!”
Then comes the moment of excitement when your child finally utters a new sound or word. This is a joyous occasion worth celebrating, bringing renewed hope. For me, hearing Alex say “Mama” for the first time was monumental. But soon, I found that those moments of triumph were often followed by long lulls without new words. -
“Something must be wrong; she’s not talking.”
As the months turn into years, it can become painfully clear that your child may not be reaching the typical milestones. At this point, you might seek second opinions or explore alternative communication methods. I remember feeling validated when Alex, at age 5, was diagnosed with severe childhood apraxia of speech, which led us to acquire a communication device. -
“What if she never speaks?”
This realization can be gut-wrenching. Accepting that your child may never become verbally fluent brings a new level of emotional complexity. It’s a tough pill to swallow, but I found that accepting this possibility didn’t mean giving up hope. I began to explore what a future might look like for Alex without traditional speech. -
“Any communication is a win!”
Eventually, you may find gratitude in the ways your child can express themselves, whether through sign language, pictures, or devices. I reached this point when Alex was around 8. I focused on his communication methods rather than what he couldn’t do, embracing a total communication approach. Words became less of a priority compared to the connections we shared. -
“Conversations may be out of reach, and that’s okay.”
After years of navigating fears, questions, and challenges, a mother can come to terms with the reality that her child may not engage in lengthy conversations. This understanding shifts from feeling like a loss to a simple acceptance of who your child is. For me, Alex has a limited vocabulary, but we’ve created our unique ways of connecting that go beyond mere words.
If you’re a mom wrestling with concerns about your child’s speech, know that you’re not alone. While it’s a challenging journey, your perspective can change even if your child’s verbal skills don’t.
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In summary, being a mother of a child with speech delays is a complex journey filled with ups and downs. It’s essential to embrace the small victories and find joy in the unique ways your child communicates, all while keeping an open mind and heart.