Updated: Dec. 5, 2016
Originally Published: Sep. 21, 2016
A mom recounts her experience of being shamed for breastfeeding in public—by her own relatives.
It’s already upsetting when a stranger makes a mom feel awkward about breastfeeding in public, but when it comes from someone you know? That’s a whole different level of distress. We often hear about women being told to cover up or go elsewhere to feed their babies, all in the name of keeping strangers comfortable. But what happens when the judgment comes from family?
That’s exactly what happened to a mom named Rachel Monroe, who recently shared her story on Instagram, which quickly gained traction. During a family dinner, Rachel’s 9-month-old daughter, Lily, needed to nurse. So, like any dedicated breastfeeding mom, she began to feed her. “She was hungry, so I simply pulled my shirt down to nurse and comfort her,” Rachel explained. That’s when the unexpected happened—her own father grabbed a cloth napkin and tried to drape it over her.
Rachel recounted, “I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he was trying to cover me up. We were at this nice restaurant, and apparently, it was too fancy for a breastfeeding mom to be uncovered.”
Rachel didn’t hold back her response. “Honestly, I wish I could say I handled it with grace and politeness. Actually, I don’t wish that at all; I let him have it, and I’m proud of it,” she said.
Describing her father’s actions as “humiliating,” she emphasized, “No woman should ever feel like she’s being indecent for feeding her baby, no matter where she is.”
She told her dad, “Breastfeeding is NOT indecent exposure! I’m not showing off my body to anyone. EVEN IF, heaven forbid, the baby unlatches and someone sees my bare nipple!”
Rachel was frustrated by the notion that some believe breastfeeding in public is just a ploy to attract attention. “Believe me, I’d rather not flash anyone in a public place. But we can’t preach about the benefits of breastfeeding and then act shocked when someone feeds their baby in public,” she stated.
She added that many babies dislike being covered, so why should they have to suffer to comfort someone else? Apparently, her parents felt that way. “They insisted that I should think about those who might be offended—mainly men who sexualize breastfeeding. Meanwhile, I’m thinking, shouldn’t it be the men who are taught to not sexualize it?”
Despite the backlash, Rachel’s father hasn’t changed his views on public breastfeeding since her post went viral, still suggesting that women should cover up or find a private space. However, he has come to understand her perspective, even if his earlier reprimand was painful for Rachel.
“It stings more when it’s from someone close than from a stranger. I was genuinely hurt and embarrassed that they chose to reprimand me for simply feeding my child. It’s shocking that they cared more about other diners than my own comfort as a mother!”
Sadly, Rachel isn’t alone in this experience. I can relate, as the only person who ever shamed me during my two years of nursing was my dad. He didn’t intend to hurt me, but his vocal discomfort with my breastfeeding made me feel isolated and ashamed during family gatherings. I wish I had spoken out during those moments.
That’s why it’s empowering to see moms like Rachel standing up for themselves. Breastfeeding is challenging enough without family adding to the pressure. Kudos to her for having the courage to address it!
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Summary
Rachel Monroe shares her painful experience of being shamed for breastfeeding in public by her own father during a family dinner. Despite the stigma attached to public breastfeeding, she stands firm in her belief that women should not feel embarrassed for nourishing their babies. Her story highlights the importance of support from loved ones during the breastfeeding journey, making it clear that criticism, especially from family, can be particularly hurtful.