Some parents often ponder when it’s appropriate to stop spanking their kids. For me, the answer is simple: right from the start. Allow me to share my journey.
I grew up experiencing spanking, but it was quite rare. My dad only resorted to it between the ages of 4 and 10, and even then, it was always purposeful. He explained his reasons beforehand, and it was never done in anger or unpredictably. The swats were firm enough to sting but never left a mark, and they were always aimed at my backside. Most importantly, I never felt like a “bad kid” because of it.
When I was on the brink of becoming a father, my partner, Sarah, and I had a lengthy discussion about discipline. She had a similar childhood experience. We initially agreed that sometimes spanking might be the only way to grab a child’s attention.
However, just moments after our son was born, Sarah looked me square in the eye and declared, “You’re never going to touch this child.” It was a wave of post-birth hormones talking, but she was serious.
So we decided to forgo spanking entirely. It required a lot more creativity and active engagement to discipline without resorting to hitting, but looking back, that’s a good thing. Now, after having five kids (though I’m still in the thick of it), I can’t say it’s been easier or harder. Sure, I’ve been tempted at times, but we’ve never laid a finger on our children. The outcomes align with what research suggests: it’s better for everyone involved. Simply put, don’t hit your kids.
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In summary, my views on discipline shifted dramatically after the birth of my first child. Spanking, once an accepted practice in my upbringing, was cast aside for more thoughtful and engaging methods of discipline. It’s a change that has proven beneficial for our family.