40 Life Lessons Learned Over 40 Years

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Life has a unique way of imparting wisdom. After four decades of navigating its twists and turns, I’ve encountered challenges that have reshaped my beliefs and broadened my perspective. From facing the heartache of losing loved ones to grappling with the onset of menopause at just 38, to the midlife crisis that hit two years later, I’ve amassed a treasure trove of lessons. Some are profound, while others are just plain practical—like the consequences of public prunes or the wisdom of going to bed without makeup. Here are 40 of the most valuable insights I’ve gathered along the way:

1. You don’t truly master curse words until menopause hits.
2. Pigs can fly—if you’ve never been on a plane!
3. Always verify the toilet paper situation before sitting.
4. Eyeliner is best left off at bedtime.
5. Cabotage* isn’t about sabotaging with cabbage.
6. A girl will always hope her birthday is celebrated—yes, even at 41!
7. Don’t torture yourself with negative thoughts.
8. Hide spare change where your partner can’t discover it.
9. Ice cream won’t replace love, and chocolate won’t substitute for sex.
10. Telling your best friend her diet isn’t working is a bad idea.
11. Avoid sneezing while enjoying crackers.
12. Not everyone has a perfect memory, but many have smartphones.
13. Some mysteries are better left unsolved.
14. Mathematics can “prove your humanity,” especially during online logins.
15. If you’re always truthful, you won’t need to second-guess yourself.
16. Some days you’re the bug; other days, you’re the windshield.
17. Spontaneity isn’t always the best choice.
18. Stay away from prunes!
19. Don’t let your life be a cautionary tale for others.
20. Some individuals really do hit the jackpot in the genetics lottery.
21. Depression is more than just a lack of enthusiasm.
22. Always wear underwear with white shorts.
23. We spend one-seventh of our lives facing Mondays.
24. Plant pumpkins only if you have plenty of friends to share.
25. Nudiustertian** has nothing to do with Martians in the nude.
26. If love is blind, then marriage is an eye-opener.
27. After the third bottle of wine, memories may become elusive.
28. Be cautious when operating a gear stick.
29. Sometimes the villain is disguised as the princess.
30. Thinking about buying a treadmill doesn’t equate to actually purchasing one.
31. The reality of sex starvation is genuine.
32. A remote control is not an ideal storage for dead batteries.
33. Brain farts are indeed a thing.
34. Winning a Nobel Prize in silliness may not be the pinnacle of achievements.
35. Locking yourself out in your pajamas at -30 degrees isn’t as amusing as it seems.
36. Don’t moan about your errors; learn from them instead!
37. The nine scariest words in English are: “I’m from the government, and I’m here to help.”
38. Tittynope*** has nothing to do with breasts.
39. Women can experience rectal exams too.
40. There’s always more to learn!

*Cabotage refers to the exclusive rights of a country to manage air traffic within its borders.
**Nudiustertian means the day before yesterday.
***Tittynope refers to a small leftover quantity of something.

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In summary, life lessons are plentiful and often come from unexpected experiences. Embrace the challenges, learn from mistakes, and always be open to new teachings that life presents.