Last night, I slipped into a bubble bath, ready for some relaxation with a cold drink and a magazine featuring the latest celebrity gossip (yes, I’m judging myself too). Just as I was sinking into my cozy zone, I felt something clinging to my leg:
“Who are you, rubbery stranger? A toy from a fast-food meal? A bizarre knockoff of something adorable?”
I placed him on the tub’s edge next to the other toys and quickly noticed something else: a Barbie hand-in-hand with a vintage figure of Skeletor. Her chewed-up fingers rested sweetly in his grasp, as if she were about to toss her tangled hair and giggle.
What a strange collection of toys I have! How fortunate I am to mother these delightful oddballs! In that moment, all I could think was how much I adore these girls. My life would be so different without them. Our home would feel hollow without the drawings, photos, and the indelible marks of their playtime adventures. I couldn’t possibly love my partner as much if I hadn’t seen him donning tiny jeans on a Barbie or gently carrying a sleepy child to bed.
As I marveled at the oddities lining my bathtub, I felt an overwhelming urge to protect their unique, whimsical spirit.
After my bath, I watched them play pretend, wishing that their world could always remain a place where plastic treats never melt and couch cushion vehicles run on forever. I happily donned my daughter’s Batman cape while holding her doll, grappling with my inadequacies in preparing them for the complexities of life beyond their imaginative realms.
I might not have the ultimate guide to sleep training dolls or navigating teenage drama, but I can share a mix of my own misadventures — a blend of life lessons learned through love and loss. So, I decided to pen a note for my husband, Daniel:
“Dear Daniel, in case I meet an untimely end due to a rogue plastic toy or an unfortunate run-in with a wayward doll accessory, please share these random musings with our girls from their wonderfully eccentric, loving mother:
- A baby wipe can save your shirt from deodorant smudges, a dull razor can revive your sweaters, and a dryer sheet can work wonders on dusty blinds. For everything else, feel free to use vinegar or beer — one for cleaning, one for tolerating the process!
- Life may not always be the sweet pink of a Starburst; some days will be orange and occasionally yellow. But even those not-so-perfect days are worth living.
- Heartbreak is part of life, and while I wish I could shield you from it, I know it’s inevitable. Just remember: it’s better to have loved and lost than to never sing along to Taylor Swift at all.
- Always shake the ketchup before use to avoid that weird watery disaster. And for goodness’ sake, don’t watch scary movies right before bed!
- Show love often, but don’t forget to show a little leg now and then.
- You may never have a dramatic backstory worthy of a reality show. Sorry, not sorry!
- Avoid dating anyone who refers to you as “Lil’ Mama” or has a habit of answering their phone with “Talk to me!”
- When the opportunity to be generous arises, seize it. Also, if you can hold a baby animal, do it. Dress it up if you can!
- Take chances, but please skip the “road less traveled.” That path is often filled with hazards, and you’ll wish you had charged your phone to call for help.
- All that glitters isn’t gold… or even a good choice for eyeshadow.
- Life sometimes calls for colorful language. Use the S-word and F-word as needed, but remember there’s never a good reason to use the N-word or R-word.
- Always say “bless you” when someone sneezes and “thank you” when someone holds a door open. It’s just polite!
- If a guy offers you a Jell-O shot and tells you to back it up, kindly say “screw you.”
- Avoid sneaky situations unless it involves sneaking in candy to the movies — because, obviously!
- Try to steer clear of scenarios that involve “Girl, hold my earrings.”
- Social media is like a movie trailer — it showcases the best bits of life, but remember, most days are more mundane than the highlight reel.
- Stay away from anything called jungle juice or anything that looks like Kool-Aid served from a questionable container.
- Never text, drink, talk, or basically do anything while driving, except for belting out your favorite tunes.
- Win every spelling bee, but steer clear of wet T-shirt contests — genetics might not be on your side!
- May your best comebacks come to you instantly and not hours later during a shower.
- Live your life freely, but not in a Coachella camping kind of way.
- Everyone has a unique story. Respect their differences, as what’s important to you may not resonate with others.
- Know your social security number, your exact bra size, and your immeasurable worth.
- Remember that the hand that instinctively braces you during sudden stops is a hand that loves you fiercely.
- Never hesitate to say “I’m sorry” when you truly mean it, but don’t say it just to be liked.
- There’s no such thing as running into an ex while looking amazing or heading into Target for “just one thing.”
- Have at least one nude bra on hand, but steer clear of nude selfies!
- I’ve said it before, my sweet girls, but never dull your quirkiness. Stay weird, stay sweet, stay curious, and above all, please always stay mine.”
This little note is a heartfelt reminder of life’s quirks and the love I have for my daughters, even when I’m not around. For more insights on the journey of parenthood, check out some of our other posts, like this one on Intracervical Insemination, which can guide you through fertility options. For those navigating the process of starting a family, exploring resources like those at Make a Mom can really help. Additionally, if you’re curious about pregnancy success rates, WebMD is an excellent resource for understanding IUI outcomes.
Summary
This whimsical piece reflects a mother’s love for her daughters, filled with quirky life advice and heartfelt wisdom for navigating life’s challenges. It emphasizes the importance of embracing individuality, kindness, and humor while preparing them for the complexities of life.