The moment I discovered I was expecting my third little one, I found myself hauling my two-year-old and one-year-old down the stairs, just like I had done every morning since my second was born. I would serenade them with a goofy tune called “Two Babies” as we made our way to breakfast. However, I quickly realized that things needed to change. My body was about to enter a whole new level of discomfort, and juggling two toddlers was going to become increasingly difficult. So, I decided to put an end to this cherished routine and gently set them down, taking their hands instead. Let’s just say, that didn’t go over well. Cue the tears and flailing limbs—pure chaos. They were not interested in the growing baby in my belly or my exhaustion. I found myself standing in the kitchen, letting them wail.
Normally, I would have tried to distract them with treats or enlisted their help in breakfast prep. But then it hit me—there would be times I’d be nursing the new baby, and calming two toddlers would have to take a backseat. I realized I couldn’t keep up the pace for my oldest, who I feared might feel neglected, while also giving my new daughter the attention she deserved. I was attempting the impossible. My three little ones needed me to maintain my sanity, so I knew I had to shift my approach. Here are five things I stopped doing when my third baby arrived:
- I Stopped Allowing Hospital Visitors.
Not a single soul was alerted about my hospital stay, except for a few close friends my husband called before I snatched the phone from him. I didn’t want anyone there during my labor—no pizza orders, no waiting crowds outside my room. I needed time to bond with my husband and new baby, and rest was a top priority. - I Stopped Overexerting Myself.
When my husband left for work, I was outnumbered. With three kids, things got wild—simultaneous diaper changes, crying fits, and hunger pangs were the norm. I learned to let go of the idea of comforting each child at every moment. We all adjusted to a bit of chaos, and surprisingly, it made us stronger. - I Stopped Caring So Much.
If my older kids spent hours in front of the TV while I nursed and cuddled the new baby, so be it. I let go of the need to entertain them constantly. Homemade organic snacks were swapped for quicker, semi-healthy options. I stopped stressing over every mess and just rolled my eyes at unsolicited parenting advice. - I Stopped Welcoming Uninvited Guests.
Unless you brought dinner and a willingness to help, don’t even think about dropping by. The days of surprise visits to see the new baby were over. I was not a hostess; I was a tired mom. If you weren’t there to lend a hand, you were simply not welcome. - I Stopped Saying Yes to Everything.
This shift impacted my husband and older kids the most. “No, I can’t play right now; I’m feeding your brother.” “No, dinner isn’t ready, and don’t count on any romance tonight.” Friends and family had to understand my limits too. Those who did are still in my life; those who didn’t? Not my problem.
I had to let go of many things, including showering, finishing my meals, and even sleeping. The arrival of my third child was a whirlwind that flipped my world upside down, but I knew how to love these three kids fiercely, even if it meant saying “no” sometimes. My house might not have been spotless, and I might have resorted to junk food occasionally, but I was doing my best. I empowered myself by letting go, focusing on motherhood in the way that worked best for me.
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Summary
After having my third child, I had to make significant changes in my parenting approach. I stopped allowing hospital visitors, overexerting myself, worrying excessively, entertaining drop-in guests, and saying yes to every request. This transition was tough, but it helped me focus on what truly mattered—raising my kids with love, even amidst chaos.