If you’ve ever been a child, you’ve likely heard it, and if you’ve stepped into the role of a parent, you’ve probably uttered it: Honesty is the best policy. However, when navigating the world of motherhood and interacting with fellow moms, that mantra can sometimes take a backseat. We’re not telling blatant, hurtful falsehoods—when it comes to the serious stuff, we keep it real with our mom friends. But when it comes to protecting feelings or maintaining our own self-esteem, we might just bend the truth a little.
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Your kid was an angel.
When you pick your little one up from a playdate, the burning question is always: “How did they behave?” If your child transformed into a miniature tornado, I’ll let you know. Otherwise, I’ll probably say they were “just fine!” Because even if they were a wee bit challenging, I understand that kids have off days. I don’t want you to feel like a terrible parent over it. -
Your kid is a cutie pie.
We all think our own children are the most beautiful beings on earth, but asking others to agree puts them in an awkward position. You might ask, “Isn’t she adorable?” and I’m going to say, “Absolutely!” while thinking, “She’s going to look like Uncle Larry with that unkempt hair, but hey, that drool is kind of endearing.” So yes, your kid is cute—just maybe not in the way you envision. -
Your kid is perfectly normal.
Every mom has had those moments of worry about their child’s development. Most concerns are unfounded since kids grow at their own pace. So when you express concern that your child hasn’t hit certain milestones yet, I’ll reassure you that everything is perfectly fine. My medical degree is nonexistent, but I do know that I don’t want you to feel worse than you already do. I’ll suggest a pediatrician visit for peace of mind—followed by, “But really, it’s probably nothing.” -
My place? Oh, it’s a disaster!
Before your visit, I frantically tidied up, tossing stray socks and clearing the sink of dirty dishes. If I apologize for the chaos when it’s really just “lived-in,” maybe you’ll think my house is usually spotless. -
No need to clean up!
One of the biggest downsides of hosting playdates is the toy explosion afterward. Yet, I always say, “Don’t worry about picking up!” when in reality, I wouldn’t mind a little help with the cleanup. But I know it’s tough to get kids to do something as boring as tidying up, and I don’t want you to feel awkward if your child refuses. -
Sorry, we can’t make it because…
My child is sick? I have a prior engagement? Truth is, I’m turning down the playdate for countless reasons: perhaps I’m not in the mood to wear pants, my child is being a brat, or I just can’t handle more than my own kids. I’ll conjure up something more believable so you don’t feel rejected (and so I don’t seem petty). -
My kid is doing those things too!
Comparing our children is pointless, yet we all do it at some point. So when you mention your child’s achievements—like toilet training or reading—I can’t help but try to keep up. Sure, my version of “using the toilet” might mean I caught him mid-accident, and “reading” could be him reciting his favorite book from memory. But you don’t need those details. -
You look fantastic!
You stumble into my home looking like you just survived a zombie apocalypse—dark circles, messy hair, and who knows what smeared on your shirt. When you apologize for your appearance, I won’t agree. I’ll reassure you that you look great because I know you’re feeling self-conscious, and reminding you that you look like a hot mess isn’t going to help. We’ve all been there!
In the grand scheme of things, while we may share these minor fibs with each other, they’re not meant to deceive. Instead, they’re just little white lies to help each other navigate the sometimes tumultuous waters of motherhood. They’re rooted in good intentions—and that’s the truth.
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Summary:
Moms often share innocent fibs to protect each other’s feelings and maintain self-esteem. These little lies range from reassuring comments about children’s behavior to compliments about appearances, all aimed at fostering a supportive community among mothers.