Over the years, my marriage has taught me a lot about myself. While my partner, Alex, has played a significant role, it’s also about my willingness to embrace change and personal growth. Together, we’ve navigated through the ups and downs of married life, transforming into the individuals we are today. Here are the most valuable lessons I’ve picked up along the way:
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The Initial Years are the Toughest.
You know those early days when you’re merging your lives and suddenly discover your spouse has a peculiar habit, like drinking straight from the milk jug? Yeah, that’s just the beginning. Things only get better from there. You learn to sidestep the trivial matters and stand firm on what truly matters. One day, you’ll find you know each other so well that words become optional. But sometimes, you still have to remind him not to drink from the jug when no one is watching.
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Toilet Seat Wars Aren’t Worth It.
Save your energy for the real battles, like who’s on diaper duty at 2 a.m.
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Invest in a Rug Doctor.
We got ours before even having kids, and it has proven to be one of our wisest purchases. Need to clean up a mess? Rug Doctor to the rescue! Whether it’s a floor covered in baby goo or a couch splattered with unexpected surprises, this machine has saved our sanity more than once.
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Makeup is Optional.
Feeling pretty is nice and all, but when you’re both running on caffeine and sleep deprivation, your husband doesn’t care if you’re rocking a full glam look. Just being present is enough.
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Kids Can be Draining.
They’ll consume your time, energy, and emotional reserves. You’ll be thinking about them nonstop, even when they’re not around. It’s crucial to remember each other amidst the chaos, or you might wake up in 20 years as strangers.
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Communication Evolves.
Whether it’s getting louder over toddler chaos or learning to articulate feelings, the more you engage, the better you communicate. Over time, you’ll find yourselves arguing less and understanding each other more.
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Value Your Limited Time Together.
Even if it’s just a quiet beer on the porch after bedtime, you’ll learn to cherish those peaceful moments together. Once, you had plenty of them; now they’re rare treasures.
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Laundry is a Never-Ending Battle.
Prepare yourself for the relentless mountain of laundry. You’ll dream about it and might even consider a dramatic solution, like setting it ablaze.
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Cooking Skills? Not Necessary.
Honestly, if I can manage, anyone can. Just master the basics—think peanut butter sandwiches or heating up pre-made meals. If you’re feeling gourmet, toss in a jar of spaghetti sauce with some noodles and a side salad to “keep it healthy.”
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Diverse Interests are Healthy.
In the beginning, I wanted to tag along with Alex everywhere. But once kids entered the picture, I craved solitary time. Having separate hobbies fosters independence and reminds you that you were once more than a sleep-deprived parent.
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Everyone Needs Downtime.
I used to think I deserved more breaks since Alex was out working all day. However, after a few years, I realized how hard he was working for our family. Both of us need to acknowledge our efforts and allow each other time to recharge. When we do, the home is much happier.
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You’ve Changed Since the Wedding Day.
And that’s a positive! If you’ve been open to growth, you’ve likely adopted some of your partner’s views and ways of communicating. If we didn’t change throughout our marriage, we’d miss out on teaching our kids about collaboration and personal growth.
The best advice I ever received about marriage was, “Some days you’ll look at your partner and wonder what you were thinking when you married them.” It’s true—you’ll question, overthink, and perhaps even contemplate parting ways. But if you’re both committed, your friendship will deepen, and your partnership will thrive. Sometimes you’ll give more, other times take more. You’ll tackle challenges together until you find yourselves looking at your spouse and thinking, “We’ve got this!” You’ll have invested hard work and made sacrifices along the way.
While you may never convince him to stop drinking from the milk jug, you might just manage to offload the majority of those 2 a.m. diaper changes! For additional insights on this journey, check out our other blog post on pregnancy here. If you’re looking for more information about fertility, Make a Mom is a great resource. Don’t forget to check out ACOG for comprehensive advice on treating infertility.
Summary
Marriage is a journey of growth, communication, and compromise. Embrace the challenges and cherish the quiet moments. Over the years, you’ll learn to appreciate your partner and recognize that change is a vital part of your relationship’s evolution.