As a parent of three children aged five and under, I’ve become all too familiar with the emergency room. Many of our visits have been due to the classic Murphy’s Law of parenting—like when one of my kids spikes a fever at 5:31 p.m. on a Friday. We’ve also had our fair share of precautionary trips for minor bumps and bruises. (It’s particularly frustrating when a search for “what does brain fluid look like” yields results that are indistinguishable from mucus. How am I supposed to decipher whether my child’s runny nose is from tears or something more alarming? Spoiler alert: it was just tears.)
However, the most peculiar ER visit occurred a few months ago. With the end of the school week approaching, the kids were understandably tired. I was busy preparing dinner, eagerly anticipating bedtime for my weary little ones, when my son burst into the kitchen, tears streaming down his face.
“What’s the matter?” I asked, worried.
Through sobs, he exclaimed, “I don’t think I swallowed a penny!”
This was a new one for me.
“I don’t comprehend,” I responded. “Why do you think you didn’t swallow a penny?”
The question seemed to perplex him further, and he dissolved into even more tears. My husband and I exchanged bewildered glances, prompting me to call my daughter, who had been playing with him in the other room. She was suddenly mute, realizing that silence might be her best defense.
I took a deep breath, turned off the stove, and called my brother, who is an ER doctor.
“He says he doesn’t think he swallowed a penny,” I explained.
“Then he likely did swallow a penny,” my brother replied with a sigh.
“Yeah, that seems probable,” I admitted.
Thus began the most embarrassing trip to the ER I’ve experienced. My husband took charge of dinner while my son and I set off for the hospital. Remarkably, he calmed down during the ride, comforted by the thought that we were heading to the ER.
“Can you explain why you were so upset?” I probed again as we drove.
“I don’t think I swallowed one,” he repeated.
I was baffled but decided to let it go until we arrived. At the ER, I approached the receptionist and said, “Hi, my son thinks he may have swallowed a penny.” She managed to stifle a laugh and checked us in.
We were soon taken to a room where I repeated the situation to a nurse and then the on-call doctor. “Did you swallow a penny?” the doctor asked my son.
“No,” he insisted, growing more adamant in his denial.
The doctor chuckled and confidently stated, “He probably swallowed a penny.” (Is this a standard training exercise in medical school?) He explained that they would bring in an x-ray technician to locate the penny, as it could potentially pose a risk if lodged in the throat.
By this point, my son was completely engrossed in the Disney program playing on the hospital television, a rare treat for him. The x-ray technician entered and cheerfully remarked, “I hear your son didn’t swallow a penny! That’s a new one!” He proceeded to take x-rays while my son twisted his head towards the screen, completely distracted from his earlier concern.
Shortly after, the doctor returned.
“Well, your son is quite truthful,” he said.
“You mean he didn’t swallow a penny?” I asked, relieved.
“Correct. No penny.”
I honestly don’t remember what the discharge papers said—perhaps something like “beware of an overactive imagination”? What I do recall is that we paid a significant amount just to be informed that my son had not, in fact, swallowed a penny.
I never quite figured out what prompted his panic. Days later, he casually mentioned that he couldn’t find a penny and assumed he must have swallowed it. Apparently, in his mind, if it’s missing from sight, it must be in his stomach. This entire incident left me perplexed, but I’m grateful it ended on a positive note.
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Summary
This article narrates a humorous yet bewildering experience of a parent who took her son to the emergency room, believing he may have swallowed a penny. The child’s overactive imagination and inability to articulate his fears led to a series of amusing misunderstandings. Ultimately, it highlights the strange yet relatable moments all parents face, especially when dealing with young children’s imaginative worries.