Let’s get real for a second: I used to take my friendships for granted. Back in the day, my friends were just there, like background characters in my life sitcom. We played sports together, shared classes, and dished about crushes. We spent countless hours navigating love lives, making questionable decisions, and dreaming about the futures we wanted. We were inseparable.
Fast forward to now: I’m a wife and a mom juggling work and an unexpected affinity for laundry folding. Maintaining friendships amidst the whirlwind of life means trying to align my nonexistent schedule with my friends’ equally chaotic lives. It often requires color-coded calendars and a serious amount of planning. I’ve even pretended to be a morning jogger just to squeeze in some quality time with my pals. Our chats about boys have shifted to discussions about our sons and how to get them to use the toilet without turning it into a disaster zone.
Friendship dynamics have become more complex now. Life is about more than just cocktails and reality TV—though we still manage to squeeze in a bit of that! Instead, we’re facing bigger challenges: aging parents, the joys and trials of raising teenagers, and the daily grind of cooking dinner (again).
While my friends continue to be my lifelines, I often feel like I’m failing at being a good friend because my time is constantly consumed by things that require immediate attention.
We All Stumble in Our Friendships Sometimes
Here are some reasons why:
- We miss calls when our friends really need us because we’re knee-deep in parenting chaos.
- We don’t always offer the right advice when they come seeking support.
- Sometimes we get so excited to share that we forget to just listen.
- We may forget important dates like birthdays.
- We get so wrapped up in our own lives that we overlook significant moments in our friends’ lives.
- We feel hurt when we’re not included in events—even if we wouldn’t have gone anyway.
- We hold onto grudges that really don’t matter.
- We can create drama in our minds over misunderstandings.
- We drift apart sometimes.
- We may lose touch with friends who needed us but didn’t feel supported.
But Let’s Also Celebrate the Ways We Thrive as Friends
Here are some ways we uplift each other:
- We listen—often better than our partners do.
- We keep each other’s secrets close.
- We discuss the tough stuff—kids, family, and even Spanx.
- We share laughter, sometimes to the point of snorting our drinks.
- We affirm one another’s beauty because let’s face it, we all need that reminder.
- We notice the little changes in each other that hint at deeper feelings.
- We lift each other up, and I always leave my true friendships feeling more empowered.
- We reach out when Google doesn’t have all the answers, especially when it comes to parenting woes.
- We make time for each other, even when it seems impossible.
- We forgive easily because we understand how messy life can be.
I can’t wait until we’re all in our 80s, carefree and ready to toast to the chaos we survived together! We’ll still chat about boys, but I envision us mostly sipping whiskey and celebrating the fact that we did our best.
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Summary
Friendships evolve with life’s challenges, but despite the chaos and occasional failures, we find ways to uplift and support each other. Whether it’s through laughter, sharing secrets, or simply being there, we are navigating this wild ride together.