Hey Marco,
I see you’re having a rough time lately. Just the other night, I was nestled on my couch with my 7-year-old daughter, sipping some cozy tea while we watched the Olympics. We were both in awe of the incredible Simone Biles, a phenomenal athlete who just so happens to be an adoptee like my girl. As she dazzled on the gymnastics floor, my daughter’s eyes lit up with pure joy—like it was Christmas morning. That moment was everything.
And then, you piped up. As the camera focused on Simone’s family, you casually mentioned that the people she calls mom and dad are actually her grandparents. Really? You think that’s why she refers to them that way? Because they are her mom and dad, plain and simple.
When folks in the adoption community, including me, challenged your comment on Twitter, you didn’t just stop there. You kept going, digging yourself deeper until your employer had to step in and tell you to delete that tweet and apologize. I suspect you did it to protect your own skin, but it seems you still don’t get why many of us are feeling frustrated.
Let me break it down for you. I’m not just an adoptive mom; I’m a mom, period. Adoption was a single legal act that allowed me to become my children’s mother. I don’t dwell on being an “adoptive” parent; that’s simply part of my story.
As an adoptive mom, I don’t do fake. I don’t fake clean up messes, I don’t fake comfort my kids after a nightmare, and I certainly don’t fake love them. My parenting is as real as it gets. I don’t pretend to research all the latest health tips or follow the newest parenting trends. I’m fully invested in being there for my kids, whether it’s cheering them on or teaching them manners.
I know I’m not my kids’ only mom, and I embrace the fact that my children may feel differently about their birth parents and me. My role is to create a space where they can express their feelings without fear of judgment. I don’t force them to choose between their birth parents and me; rather, I encourage them to love us both in their own ways.
I’m a proud mom to three incredible kids who fill my life with laughter and joy. No matter how they choose to refer to me or their other parents, I cherish every moment with them. I’ve taught my kids that people like you, who have trouble accepting that adoption creates real families, are missing out on a beautiful part of life.
Your narrow understanding won’t define us. The little girl sitting next to me on the couch? She’s my kid—no qualifiers needed. I’m her mom, end of story.
So, next time you find yourself in front of millions during a major event, remember to show respect for the talented athletes and their families—their real families—who are cheering them on from the stands.
Here’s a nugget of wisdom for you: Stay in your lane. Don’t make comments about Simone Biles and her family, and if you can’t say something nice, maybe it’s best to keep your thoughts to yourself and off social media.
You’re welcome.
For more insightful stories about family and parenting, check out our other blog posts like this one. And if you’re looking for expert advice on home insemination, Cryobaby is a great resource. For additional information on family-building options, RESOLVE has excellent resources.
Summary
In a heartfelt letter to Marco Davis, an adoptive mom expresses her frustration over his comments about Simone Biles’ family, emphasizing the authenticity of adoptive relationships. She highlights her role as a mother, the realness of her parenting, and the importance of accepting diverse family structures. The letter serves as a reminder to respect all families, regardless of their formation, and encourages understanding within the adoption community.