My partner and I have always considered ourselves fairly handy, tackling numerous home projects over our 17 years together with minimal drama. Well, mostly. We still avoid discussing the infamous Crown Molding Fiasco of 2006 because, frankly, it did not end well. As avid fans of home improvement shows, we often catch ourselves narrating our shopping escapades to imaginary cameras while browsing aisles filled with tools and materials. We can spackle, paint, and use a laser level like pros.
However, when we decided to add an extension to our home, we quickly realized it was wiser to hire professionals—mainly because we wanted to stay happily married throughout the process.
Upon sharing our plans with friends who had endured similar renovation experiences, we noticed their skeptical looks and raised eyebrows. They exchanged glances when we innocently declared, “It’ll only take six weeks!” or “The contractor came in way under budget!” Just before we commenced work, a friend who had renovated an older home and built a custom one looked me straight in the eye and said, “Good luck. Call me when you decide to leave your spouse.” I laughed nervously, thinking how bad could it really be?
It was worse than I imagined. That “six-week” project stretched into a grueling 10 months. Add in four months of planning and two months spent battling permitting issues, and we were looking at a staggering 16 months of construction. Ultimately, I’ve gleaned some invaluable lessons about marriage and home renovations. If you’re about to embark on a significant remodeling project, please take my advice—you’ll be grateful later.
1. Scrutinize Your Budget—Then Add a Lot More
Renovations can be pricey, and even the most budget-savvy individuals are often taken aback by unexpected expenses. From cost overruns to extra labor charges, it’s easy to overspend. Home improvement stores and design centers can tempt you into upgrades that inflate your costs. Be clear about what areas you can afford to splurge on and stick to it. This way, when you’re arguing over that lavish hand-scraped hardwood floor, it’ll be easier to say no.
2. Reality Check: Chip and Joanna Aren’t Always Happy
One of the biggest surprises during our renovation was how often we found ourselves bickering over trivial matters. Who knew we could have such strong opinions on light fixtures and paint colors? Before the project kicks off, discuss your styles and visions. Clear communication beforehand can prevent major disputes later—like over roofing choices in front of your neighbors!
3. Let It Go—No One Wins at Drywall
For some reason, construction made me competitive over design choices. If my partner suggested beige, I’d counter with eggshell. But honestly, it didn’t matter. The final outcome would have been beautiful regardless. If your partner is passionate about a certain choice, let them have it. You can always tease them later about that questionable wallpaper they picked out.
4. The Stay-at-Home Partner Wins the “Worst Day” Contest
My partner works outside of the home, while I managed to work remotely during the chaos. However, working from home turned into a challenge with constant disruptions, noise, and chaos. If you escape the madness, count your blessings and bring home flowers for your stay-at-home partner. They bear the brunt of the renovation stress and should always win the “who had the worst day” argument.
5. There’s a Happy Ending, Just Like in “The Money Pit”
Remember The Money Pit with Tom Hanks? It mirrors our experience more closely than you’d think, but not for the reasons you might imagine. Eventually, the dust settles, the workers leave, and you’ll no longer have a Porta-Potty in your yard. You’ll have a moment when the squabbles over paint colors and fixtures fade as you stand together, admiring your beautiful new space. Just like Tom and Shelley, you’ll realize that despite differences—like your partner’s obsession with smart home tech—you still love working together.
Renovations can be taxing, but they don’t define your relationship. The key is to let go of past arguments and enjoy your new home together. Unless, of course, your partner picked that hideous wallpaper. That’s a debate that can last a lifetime.
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Summary
Home renovations can be a challenging experience for couples, often leading to arguments over choices, budgets, and stress levels. Clear communication, flexibility, and a willingness to compromise are crucial for surviving the process without harming your relationship. In the end, the chaos will settle, and couples can enjoy their newly renovated space together.