Hey there, kids! I wanted to chat with you about something that’s been on my mind. I’m not a pro on this subject, but I have a bit more experience than you, so I hope to share some insights. Remember our dinner conversation the other night about friendship, popularity, and fitting in? That was tough for me, and I didn’t quite know how to express my thoughts then. But after thinking about it for a few days, I have some important things I want to share.
I understand that right now, being popular seems super important—sometimes it might feel like the most crucial thing. School can be overwhelming with all the social dynamics that have nothing to do with your classes. It’s easy to feel surrounded by people yet still feel lonely or excluded. And even when Dad and I encourage you to just be yourselves, I know it can feel like you need to pretend to be someone else to fit in, like those cooler kids or characters you see on TV.
Finding Comfort in Authenticity
Let’s imagine your coziest pair of pants for a moment. You know how I love slipping into comfy clothes after a long day? There’s nothing better than changing out of work attire into those soft, fuzzy pants that feel just right. You love that feeling too, right? At home, we can wear whatever we want without worrying about appearances. It’s a safe space where we can be our true selves and feel accepted, no matter what.
When we step outside, we tend to dress ourselves up a bit. We know we have to put on nicer clothes and maybe some accessories before heading out. It’s okay to want to look nice, and we all do it from time to time. But we also dress up our true selves. While some of this is necessary, like making small talk or being polite, sometimes we do things we don’t enjoy just to gain attention or approval. I fell into that trap as a kid, and occasionally I still catch myself doing things that don’t reflect my true self.
The Discomfort of Pretending
The issue is that if you keep up that façade for too long, it becomes uncomfortable—kind of like squeezing into jeans that are too tight. You can manage it for a while, and you might even look good to others, but eventually, you’ll realize you can’t move freely, and it becomes hard to enjoy life around you. You might find yourself longing for your comfy pants at home.
It’s crucial to listen to that discomfort. Your real self deserves to be free and not constrained by expectations. It’s not that your true self resists change; it’s just that it wants to grow without sacrificing its integrity. One of the bravest things you can do is to let others see your true self. It might feel daunting, like going out in your pajamas. You might worry about being judged, but the reward is profound: showing your real self encourages others to do the same.
The Value of Genuine Friendships
Having genuine friends who accept you for who you are is far more valuable than fleeting popularity. Once you experience that kind of friendship, you’ll choose the comfort of your fuzzy pants over the discomfort of trying to fit a mold every time.
What many of those popular kids don’t realize is that their followers often don’t truly know them. They see only the polished version they present, not their authentic selves. And true love and friendship can only exist when you’re genuinely known.
When I was your age, I thought I wanted to be popular. Now, I understand that I want to be known and loved for who I am. So let’s be brave together and strive to show up as our true selves. Let’s seek out others who also desire to be loved and accepted just as they are, in their comfy attire.
Further Reading
For more on navigating relationships and embracing authenticity, check out some of our other blog posts, including one on home insemination kits, which delves into ways to help you start your own family. Also, Make a Mom offers great resources on this topic, and for further information, visit ASRM for excellent resources on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
In this heartfelt letter, a parent shares insights with their children about the importance of embracing their true selves over the pressure to fit in and be popular. They encourage their kids to find comfort in authenticity and seek genuine friendships, highlighting that true connection comes from being real rather than wearing a mask.