In recent times, we’ve witnessed shocking incidents that have transformed our communities into places of fear. Just yesterday, an elementary school in Townville, South Carolina, was rocked by violence as a teenage gunman injured two students and a teacher. Additionally, in Houston, a man armed with an astonishing 2,600 rounds of ammunition injured nine people during their morning commute. And just last week in Washington state, five lives were tragically lost when a shooter opened fire in a shopping mall. It’s clear that mass shootings have become an unfortunate reality in our lives, and it’s crucial that we equip our children to handle such situations.
Before I became a stay-at-home parent, I was a language arts teacher for seventh graders. The Columbine tragedy occurred just a year before I started my teaching career, and at the time, it seemed like an isolated incident. Statistically, I felt safe. Then came 9/11, which shook us all to our core. Working in Arlington, Virginia, I experienced the fear firsthand as we heard the plane fly low before it struck the Pentagon. The uncertainty left many students anxious about their family’s safety, but thankfully, most were okay.
My teaching journey continued with the D.C. sniper crisis, where fear became palpable as the shooters targeted innocent people nearby. Our school went into lockdown, and we held our breath until the culprits were caught. Soon after, we began conducting shelter-in-place drills, practicing how to stay quiet and secure.
As I transitioned to full-time parenting, I tried to shield my children from the harsh realities of the world. However, as they grew older, conversations about safety became unavoidable. I found myself discussing things like how to hide in supply closets and the importance of staying quiet during an emergency. It was a heavy burden to place on my young children, who were still learning how to tie their shoes.
My wake-up call came when a man living near our school was arrested for plotting a mass shooting. He had amassed an arsenal of 25 firearms and thousands of rounds of ammunition. This jolted me out of denial; I realized that I needed to prepare my children for a world where these threats exist.
I reached out to my friend, Sarah Thompson, a specialist in traumatic stress. She provided valuable insights for navigating these difficult discussions with children:
- Address Their Questions, but Don’t Overwhelm Them: Tailor your responses based on their age and specific concerns. If they ask why doors are locked, clarify that it’s for safety, not to trap them.
- Encourage Open Dialogue: Let them express their fears and anxieties. Identify their main worries and reassure them with safety plans and strategies.
- Be Ready for Regression: Show understanding if your child becomes clingy or anxious. It’s a natural reaction to fear.
- Remember Your Own Fears: Adults often find conversations about mass shootings scarier than kids do. Focus on their concerns to avoid adding to their anxiety.
- Manage Your Own Paranoia: Acknowledge your feelings and create your own safety plans. Engage with community organizations that are addressing safety measures.
Parenthood can be daunting, and the desire to protect our children from harm is instinctual. We empathize with grieving families on the news and picture our own children in their place. To safeguard them in a world filled with potential dangers, we must have these tough conversations and model resilience.
And yes, once the kids are asleep, it’s perfectly okay to unwind with a drink or shed a few tears. We’re only human, after all.
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Summary
In our increasingly dangerous world, it is essential for parents to have open conversations with their children about safety during mass shooting incidents. By addressing their fears and providing practical advice, we can help them feel more secure. Remember to also take care of your own feelings and find support when needed.