Hey there, cashier at the pharmacy,
I know you meant well when you asked about my due date. With my belly being as prominent as it is at 25 weeks along, it seems everyone’s curious about when my little one will arrive. Trust me, I understand the intrigue—after all, I’ve spent six years working as a doula, and growing bellies truly fascinate me. I love to see them and appreciate their beauty, but I’ve learned that respecting boundaries is essential.
So when you asked me for my due date, my heart began to race. In the last several weeks, many people have inquired, their eager faces anticipating my answer. When someone casually states, “You’re ready to pop!” I just smile and nod. But when it comes to the due date question, my body tenses. I told you “December,” and the look on your face made me hesitate. Should I have said September or October instead? Why should I have to adjust my truth to ease your discomfort?
But you weren’t the only one who caught me off guard that day. The guy next to me, a middle-aged man who turned out to be a doctor, chuckled and asked, “Triplets?” My heart sank. I’ve received inquiries about twins before, and while those hurt, this felt like a punch to the gut. I felt so small and reminded of my two precious babies who are no longer with me.
I know you didn’t realize the weight of your words. You couldn’t have known about my loss or that the reason I look so large is because of the two angels I carry within me. But that’s why it’s best not to ask. You never really know what someone is going through. Call me a cynic, but you can’t tell who has experienced a miscarriage or is carrying a baby that may not survive. So it’s best not to comment on a woman’s size, due date, or whether she’s having multiples.
Leaving that pharmacy, I felt defeated and reminded of my loss. I wanted to share my story with you, but I held back, not wanting to make you uncomfortable. So I simply said “no” and walked away, potentially leaving you thinking I was rude.
I hope that maybe, just maybe, you’ll think twice before making comments like that in the future. We all carry our own burdens, and sometimes, those simple questions can cut deeper than you realize.
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Summary:
This piece discusses the emotional toll of unsolicited comments on a pregnant woman’s body, particularly when it comes to due dates and size. The author reflects on personal loss and the importance of being sensitive to others’ experiences. It highlights the need for awareness and respect regarding personal boundaries during pregnancy.