I always thought we would have more time before others began to notice the unique qualities of my son. While I’m somewhat prepared for the reactions of adults—like the sympathetic smiles from older folks at the grocery store or the judgmental glares when my son struggles in public—I didn’t expect children to react so soon. He’s not even four yet. I imagined we had more time, and I truly hoped for it. I should have prayed for it.
Just yesterday, we were basking in the sunshine at the park, enjoying a lovely family outing. Three little girls, probably no older than five, ran around the play structure, their cheerful pigtails bouncing as they laughed and played. Their joy seemed to fill the air, and I felt a sense of peace watching them.
Then, I noticed them glance at my son as he jumped, spun, and vocalized his delight in his own unique way. His laughter, pure and infectious, indicated he was having a fantastic time. But then it happened.
As the girls dashed past him, one touched his arm, and another shouted, “Weirdo!” before they all erupted in giggles and ran off. In that moment, time froze for me. My son continued to jump and spin, seemingly oblivious, but my heart sank. I realized he does stand out, and yes, other kids do notice.
Have you ever felt a weight so heavy that it momentarily steals your breath? That’s what I felt—an overwhelming sadness. No one prepares you for the heartache of motherhood, especially the acute pain that comes from loving someone so profoundly. This ache intensifies when you’re a parent to a child with special needs; it’s deeper, sharper, and more potent.
I understand that I can’t shield my son from the world’s harshness. None of us can. But what I can do is ensure he knows he is cherished for who he is, that he’s accepted just as he is, and that being different is not something to be ashamed of.
As he slid down, I enveloped him in a warm hug and whispered, “You are my greatest joy. Before you came into my life, I longed for you. Mama loves you to the moon and back.” In that moment, I felt confident that my son understood my love, even if he couldn’t respond with words.
I know he hears my affirmations louder than the hurtful words or looks from those who do not understand. And that’s enough for me.
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