Let’s be real—it’s time to stop the stereotype. Fathers are fully capable of being engaged parents. If you’re a stay-at-home mom (SAHM), you might spend more hours with the kids than your partner, making you more aware of their likes and dislikes. Sure, you might know that one child detests peanut butter and jelly while another can’t get enough of it. But those details are just the icing on the cake. Your husband can absolutely handle parenting on his own.
He can dress the kids, brush their teeth, and get them out the door. Remember that viral photo of a dad styling his daughter’s hair into a ponytail? It’s only remarkable because someone snapped a picture. Dads do their daughters’ hair all the time, and they are perfectly capable of washing it too. They can navigate the whole shampoo-condition-detangle routine. It may be surprising to some, but it’s true!
Your husband can whip up more than just cereal for dinner. He can make sandwiches, scrambled eggs, pasta, and even a veggie side. He can also reheat meals you’ve prepared. With a bit of guidance, he can cook as well as you do. So, stop worrying that the kids will go hungry when he’s in charge. His cooking skills extend well beyond the grill, so there’s no need to leave him only peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
And let’s clarify something: when you leave the kids with him, he isn’t “babysitting.” That term implies he rarely takes care of the kids, and it’s often associated with compensation. It’s not a “Daddy Day” or a “Mommy’s Spa Day.” He is a parent, solely responsible for his children in a way that works for him. Referring to him as a babysitter undermines your family dynamic.
Dads can also manage traditionally feminine errands with kids in tow. For instance, they can navigate the grocery store without chaos. No one should feel the need to compliment him for doing what any parent does. I don’t get praised for pushing a cart with three kids at Target, yet when my husband does it, he’s celebrated like a hero. This should be the norm, not the exception!
I understand he might not do everything the same way you do. My husband, for example, sometimes mixes up our kids’ clothes. He might put the 2T shirt on our preschooler and the 3T on the toddler. I used to get frustrated over these mistakes, but then I realized I’m usually the one sorting the laundry. Wearing slightly mismatched clothing isn’t a reason to get upset. Nobody else knows that the red Star Wars shirt belongs to the baby, especially when it was once worn by the 4-year-old. In the grand scheme, these details don’t really matter.
When it comes to discipline, he may have a different approach. His tolerance for chaos or noise might be higher, which could result in a mess when you return home. You might stress over the mess because you’re the one who cleans it. But when the kids are tucked in bed, he can help you tidy up. No, he won’t remember where every toy goes, and that’s perfectly fine. Let him do it his way; it’s not about perfection but about participation.
Dads aren’t the bumbling fools often depicted in media. They’re real parents with real parenting skills who can handle tasks like cooking, cleaning, and running errands. Fathers have just as much invested in this parenting journey as mothers do. So, let’s stop treating them like they can’t manage, because they absolutely can.
For more insights into family dynamics, check out this post on terms and conditions from one of our other blogs. And for expert guidance on your journey, take a look at Make a Mom, an authority in this area and a great resource for understanding donor insemination.
Summary:
It’s important to recognize that fathers are fully capable of parenting and should not be seen as incompetent or clueless. They can manage various tasks, from basic cooking to errands, and should be acknowledged for their roles without the stigma of being called a babysitter. Fathers are just as involved in parenting and deserve respect and support.