If you’ve ever been a child, you’ve likely heard it, and if you’ve taken on the role of a parent, you’ve probably said it too: honesty is the best policy. However, when it comes to interactions with fellow moms and their little ones, that motto can sometimes take a backseat. We’re not telling grand, hurtful lies — we share the truth when it really matters — but we might bend the truth a little to protect feelings or to make ourselves feel better.
-
Your child was well-behaved.
When you pick up your little one from a playdate, the first question is usually about their behavior. If your child turned the backyard into a battlefield or had a meltdown over a toy, I’ll probably just smile and say they were “wonderful!” Even if they were a handful, I know kids have off days, and I don’t want to add to your worries about parenting.
-
Your child is precious.
Every parent thinks their child is beautiful, but asking others for validation can put them in a tough spot. When you ask, “Isn’t he adorable?” I’ll respond with an enthusiastic “Absolutely!” while secretly thinking that maybe he resembles Uncle Joe with his big ears. But hey, adorableness can come in many forms, right?
-
Your child is just like everyone else.
Every mother has moments of worry about their child’s growth and development. When you express concern about your child not hitting certain milestones, I’ll reassure you that it’s all perfectly normal. Am I a pediatrician? No, but I also don’t want to make you feel worse than you already do. I’ll suggest a check-in with the doc, followed by, “But I’m sure it’s nothing!”
-
Apologies for the chaos.
Before your visit, I might have done a quick clean-up, but I’ll still say, “Sorry for the mess!” just to avoid any awkwardness. The truth is, I just want you to think my house is usually spotless, even if it’s currently in decent shape.
-
Don’t worry about tidying up.
One of my least favorite things about hosting is the aftermath of toys and crumbs everywhere. Yet, I always say, “Oh, don’t stress about the cleanup. We’ve got it covered.” In reality, a little help would be nice! I just know that getting kids to clean can be a chore, so I want to spare you any awkwardness if they refuse.
-
Sorry, we can’t make it because…
I might tell you my kid isn’t feeling well or that we have an appointment, but the truth is, I could simply be having a day where I don’t want to put on pants or deal with anyone else’s kids. I’ll craft a more reasonable excuse so you don’t feel let down.
-
My child is also doing that!
It’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing our kids to their peers. When you mention that your child is already doing something my child isn’t, I’ll nod along and claim my kid is doing the same. Sure, maybe my version involves a potty training incident or memorizing a book, but you don’t need the full scoop.
-
You look fantastic!
When you walk in looking like you just survived a zombie apocalypse, I’m not going to agree with your self-deprecating comments. Instead, I’ll tell you that you look great because I know it’s tough to feel good when you’re a busy mom. My honest feedback about your state isn’t going to help!
While these little white lies may seem trivial, they often come from a place of caring and support for one another’s feelings. They’re not meant to deceive but rather to uplift, and that’s what truly matters.
If you’re interested in more insights on family planning, check out this post on home insemination. Also, for those looking into artificial insemination options, Make a Mom is a fantastic resource. And if you’re exploring fertility solutions, Hopkins Medicine offers invaluable info on IVF and more.
In summary, the harmless lies moms share are often just small gestures meant to protect each other’s feelings and foster a supportive community.