Dear Men,
I want to clarify that I’m not here to criticize or overlook the positive actions of many good men. I have wonderful male friends, a fantastic mentor, a caring brother, and a loving partner. There are men who have stepped up when I needed help, including one who intervened during an attempted abduction. I am thankful for all the good men out there.
However, I’m reaching out because we truly need your assistance.
It feels almost impossible to turn on the news without hearing about another violent incident involving a woman. Whether it’s a jogger enjoying an afternoon run, a girl making her way to a friend’s house, or a woman heading to her car, the reality is stark: we are not safe anywhere.
After reading comments on articles about these victims, a troubling pattern emerged. Many people, despite their good intentions, suggested that if women just carried weapons, they could avoid these predicaments entirely. This mindset places the burden of responsibility solely on us.
If you believe this, then we have a long way to go in changing perspectives.
Every day, I step outside and find myself worrying about my safety. I am subjected to unwanted attention from men of various backgrounds, whether I’m out with my children or alone. I can’t count the number of times I’ve felt the unsettling gaze of older men sizing me up. Some might dismiss this as mere subjectivity, but if you haven’t experienced it, you may never truly understand. Yet, I assure you, every woman has a story to tell.
I’ve faced harassment, unwanted touching, and frightening encounters since I was a child. I remember being only 10 when the harassment began, and it escalated from there. Each night alone, I check locks and ensure windows are secure. Many women worldwide do the same, often lying awake, anxious over strange noises. They receive advice from their partners on how to handle potential threats.
In magazines, I often see lists of dangerous places for women, with parking lots frequently topping the list. Yet, I’ve never seen such a list for men, and I doubt I ever will.
The issue isn’t about our lack of awareness regarding safety. We’ve been conditioned to be vigilant since childhood. The crucial problem is the pervasive fear that women live with daily. Why should we have to endure this? It’s simply not fair—and it shouldn’t be this way.
Men, you might think we are being overly cautious or that these incidents are rare, but I encourage you to engage with the women in your life. Speak to your mother, sister, or close friends and let them share their experiences. You may be surprised by what you learn, and it will undoubtedly shed light on the injustices we face.
Once you’ve listened, take action. Discuss these issues with your fathers, brothers, colleagues, and friends. Share what you’ve discovered, and encourage them to listen openly. Most importantly, stand with us in the fight against rape culture and victim blaming. Women deserve a world where they don’t live in constant fear of the next attack.
The focus should never be on how to protect us; it should be on why we need protection in the first place. For more insights on personal safety and well-being, check out this informative post on our other blog.
In summary, it’s time for men to recognize the realities of rape culture and victim blaming. Engaging in conversations, actively listening to women’s experiences, and advocating for change are vital steps in creating a safer environment for everyone.
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