Last school year was quite the adventure for my family. I was nine months pregnant with my fourth child, juggling drop-offs at a school that was a solid 25 miles away. Trust me, if a bus had been an option, I would have eagerly sent my kids on it to avoid the headlines, “Mom Gives Birth on the Highway.” As our new home was nearing completion, I thought it best for the kids to start at the school where we’d eventually settle down in sunny San Diego. I was determined not to switch schools twice, and I’m grateful for that choice. However, with the baby’s arrival, I found myself rarely getting out of the car for school drop-offs.
Even after the baby arrived, I still stayed put in the car during pick-ups and drop-offs. Simply thinking about getting out felt like a monumental task. You’d think someone had asked me to scale Mount Everest! The idea of stepping out of the car? Are you kidding me? I was so sleep-deprived that I was just too lazy. The car seat in my SUV became the closest thing to a spa treatment I got.
School drop-offs and pickups often coincided with my most exhausted moments of the day. So I didn’t take—or make—the time to connect with the other moms: the soccer moms, the crafty moms, the PTA moms, or even the ‘bad’ moms. Little did I know, I was missing out on so much. If you think you can do without these moms in your life, you might want to reconsider.
During the Summer Olympics, I kept hearing Maya Angelou’s poem, “Human Family,” played between events. “We are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike.” I can vouch for this. While we each have our own unique stories, we share a bond that runs deeper than our differences. Yes, there’s a diverse array of moms out there, but we all have traveled a winding road to reach the destination of parenthood. Whether through natural childbirth, C-sections, surrogacy, or adoption, it’s no small feat. Some have faced heartbreaking losses, while others have battled infertility. Regardless of our paths, we’ve all made it here—we are all moms, and as Maya said, “we are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike.”
Why Moms Should Step Out of the Car During School Drop-Offs
With that in mind, let’s talk about why moms should make the effort to step out of the car during school drop-offs this year:
1. Building Your Tribe
Parenting can be tough, whether you’re a stay-at-home mom or a working one. Growing your support network is invaluable. With two of my four kids now in school, I’m excited to step out of my car and meet these amazing moms. I want to know who’s up for a glass of wine, whose shoulder I might cry on, and who I can cheer on in this wild journey called motherhood. Plus, let’s not forget those super-organized moms who send out reminders like, “It’s spirit day! Don’t forget your school colors.” I’ll be seeing these parents for the next decade, and forming a community among us will only strengthen our bonds.
Today, I showed up more enthusiastic than usual, feeling like a cheerleader for moms as we walked together. No matter how many first-day drop-offs I’ve experienced, I still get butterflies. Smiles were exchanged, numbers were shared, and just like that, my tribe expanded. I left feeling a sense of belonging, and I even have a coffee date lined up with one of the moms! So trust me, don’t take the easy route and stay in your car. Park it, walk your kids to school, and connect with your new crew—because “we are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike.”
2. Be That Helping Hand
No one is perfect, and we all need a little help sometimes. Living on the West Coast while my family is back East, I’ve come to see my kids’ classmates’ parents as my extended family. We need each other! Whether it’s assisting with school runs, advice about teachers, or even props for school theme days, having a network of phone numbers can make all the difference. And what if someone needs my help? I’d be more than happy to lend a hand. I want to be that mom—known for being there for others.
3. Building Your Community
I’m still relatively new to this community, and last year, I was just trying to survive. I hardly spoke to anyone, and as a result, I struggled to remember names. My kids would tell me stories about their friends, and I couldn’t put faces to names. But not anymore! I want my family to be active participants in community events. We have one chance to do this right, and being present is part of that. If I hadn’t gotten out of my car today, I wouldn’t have learned about a mom organizing a donation drive for a family in need, or the principal’s plans for a morning running club for kids and parents. Now I’m all in!
4. Be a Role Model
Yes, it’s important to take care of myself, but my workout can wait until later. My kids come first. Missing an 8 a.m. fitness class? No big deal—there’s always another one. My kids are thrilled to have me back in their school routine. I want to be a positive role model for them, inspiring them to do the same when they have kids. Seeing the joy in their eyes when I walk them to class is what matters most. I cherish these moments, knowing they won’t last forever.
Strapping my baby in the carrier while holding my 4-year-old’s hand has also been a wonderful experience for my younger kids. Even though they’re not in school yet, it’s great to instill the value of family in them. I know I’m doing something right when I hear, “You’re the best, Mom.”
I’m learning to embrace this journey. If I can manage to park my car three out of five school days, I consider that a win. Whether it’s volunteering, helping the front office, or simply hugging my little ones, I’m committed to being present. I’m ready to tackle the parenting crowd, introduce myself, and offer my support. As C.S. Lewis said, “Children are not a distraction from more important work. They are the most important work.”
In conclusion, stepping out of the car during school drop-offs not only helps you build connections but also enriches your parenting journey. You’ll find support, community, and inspiration by engaging with other moms.
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