I never anticipated the overwhelming emotions that motherhood would bring. From the moment that pregnancy test revealed that miraculous plus sign, I was swept away by a whirlwind of feelings. There was excitement, worry, exhaustion, fear, relief, and joy—all before I even met my little one. And then there was love—the kind of love that blindsides you, filling you up and giving you the strength to endure sleepless nights, tantrums, and endless dinner hours. Thankfully, that love is always there.
But there’s another significant feeling we seldom discuss: fatigue. Until recently, I didn’t truly grasp the depth of this exhaustion. When I finally recognized it, I was taken aback, because I adore being a mom. I would go to great lengths for my children. They embody every dream I ever had, and I am deeply thankful for them every single day.
However, as the fog of welcoming my second baby began to lift, I sensed something was amiss. A cloud loomed over me, draining my joy and affecting my ability to be the mom I wanted to be. This wasn’t just physical tiredness—although that was certainly part of it. It was something deeper, more unsettling.
It was the accumulation of the small sacrifices we make for our kids—the dinners left cold while we help them through bedtime, the conversations interrupted as we chase after toddlers, the lost date nights, and the last cookie never enjoyed.
It was also the endless interactions that define our daily routines. Another discussion about why shoes are necessary, another reminder that chocolate isn’t a breakfast option. The countless decisions we must make every day—“Can I have a cookie?” “Where are my shoes?”—can feel relentless.
Then there are the physical and emotional demands of parenting: bending, lifting, negotiating, comforting, scolding, praising, cooking, changing diapers, doing laundry, planning, and being vigilant. The weight of this immense responsibility can feel suffocating. Sometimes, I just want to yell at the treadmill of life, “Stop! Let me catch my breath!”
These are profound feelings, and when they threaten to overwhelm, it’s evident that we can’t fulfill our roles effectively. What we experience is parenting fatigue.
Alongside this fatigue often comes the mother of all emotions: guilt. Who am I to feel tired amidst all this wonderfulness? My kids are healthy, I’m healthy, and others manage so much more with far less. I prayed for these children, and my wishes were granted, while others may still be waiting. They need me now, and soon enough, they won’t need me in the same way. I should cherish every moment, right?
All of this is true, and it’s heartbreaking, but replaying these thoughts only intensifies the fatigue.
Here’s what I’ve discovered: sometimes, we must grant ourselves permission to hit the reset button. No one will label me a bad mom for taking a break. Although I cherish my role as a mother, variety is essential for a fulfilling life.
So, when the fatigue began to weigh me down, I made a list of things I wanted to do for myself over the next year. However, the idea of indulging myself felt overwhelming, and I ultimately decided on just one thing—starting this blog. What a lifesaver it has been! Others may choose different paths, like training for a marathon, taking up pottery, learning a new language, or even painting.
Focusing on just one thing helped me find my reset. I began to carve out small pockets of time for myself every few days. I asked for help, and it was incredibly liberating.
Of course, not every day is perfect. There are still challenging moments when I find myself wishing for the clock to strike wine o’clock. But once I acknowledged how deeply tired I was of solely identifying as a mom, that fatigue started to lift. Letting go of the guilt I carried for feeling this way allowed my energy to return. By finding something for myself, I reignited my passion for motherhood. Now, I can be a mom I’m proud of again—and that pride is a significant feeling too.
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In summary, while the journey of motherhood is filled with immense joy, the fatigue that accompanies it is real. Acknowledging this fatigue and giving ourselves permission to recharge can profoundly impact our well-being and our ability to be present for our children.