When one parent leaves for a weekend away, it can be quite the challenge for the one left behind, especially if they’re not the primary caregiver. Recently, Melissa Thompson was gearing up for a girls’ trip, and she decided to leave her husband some rather amusing “guidelines” to navigate the chaos that is parenting.
“I’m writing this out of love, not fear,” she kicks off her note. “Let’s review a few things before you tackle this weekend solo. Daytime, nighttime, breakfast, and even lunchtime can feel like an absolute NIGHTMARE, with chaos reigning supreme.”
Her list quickly reveals the little nuances that only a dedicated parent understands. “Expect a showdown over toy choices. Myles will be furious that Ava is wearing her superhero costume, while Ava will only respond to her as ‘Wonder Woman.’ Also, be prepared for Ava to fight sleep like it’s a heavyweight match,” she explains about their kids.
“Dinner is going to be a disaster. Jamie will demand pizza, while Liam will insist on hotdogs. Myles will sob at the mere mention of hotdogs and will insist on mac n cheese—specifically the blue kind. We’ll most likely be out of that, so he’ll suddenly want toast. You’ll have started cooking mac n cheese for Liam, but upon hearing about the toast, he’ll want that too. So, toss that mac n cheese because, remember, Jamie had a bad experience with the orange kind five years ago. And don’t forget about Liam, who will be distracted because his buddy Max popped in for a surprise visit. Spoiler alert: everyone will end up having cereal for dinner, and Max will need a bandaid.”
While this note might feel overwhelming for her husband, it’s comforting for anyone reading it to know that they’re not alone in the chaos of parenting. As the note progresses to the dreaded bedtime routine, Melissa offers a small dose of reassurance: “Good luck, my friend.”
“Pajamas? Forget pajamas! Just try to get Ava into a nightgown. If you can’t find her Minnie Mouse nightgown, keep hunting! She’ll ask for it, but then scream as if it’s the end of the world because of the sleeves! Just grab the Elsa one, even if it’s a little dirty—she’s probably dirty too!”
At this point, many parents will find themselves nodding and wishing they had a mug that says, “Forget pajamas.” Melissa’s husband must be finding a quiet corner to hide in for the weekend.
The note continues with more tips on keeping the kids in bed, dealing with breakfast mayhem, and the reality of having to “lather, rinse, and repeat” each day.
“And just in case you thought you’d catch a break this weekend: good luck! Myles will cry every 5 minutes, and Ava will act like her world is ending over the slightest inconvenience. She’ll need constant attention, and sometimes she can manage on her own, but other times, she’ll complain about everything—even her underwear. Have backup underwear on standby! Oh, and since you made me get rid of most of the sippy cups, she’ll lose the two we have left. So, good luck hunting for those!”
If Melissa’s notes are indeed this detailed, her husband is in for quite the adventure while she’s away. She signs off with a cheeky, “Kisses, Your Loving Wife.”
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In summary, Melissa’s humorous but realistic notes serve as a lighthearted reminder of the ups and downs of parenting, especially when one parent gets a break and the other must hold down the fort.