I caught you using that word recently. It slipped out almost thoughtlessly, reminiscent of how I used to say it myself. We’ve become so accustomed to hearing it from ourselves and others that we often overlook its significance.
“I’m just a stay-at-home mom.”
I sensed the hint of apology in your voice, and I could feel the doubts behind it. That small four-letter word carries with it a mountain of fears, insecurities, and worries. I know this well because I’ve been in your shoes; I’ve battled those same feelings and uttered those same words: I’m “just” a stay-at-home mom.
You might worry about not measuring up in your “role.” You may question if your college education was a waste. You might find yourself comparing your life to those of other women who are pursuing exciting careers and climbing corporate ladders. You may fear that being at home makes you less valuable, less capable, or less interesting. Even if your partner supports your decision to stay home, you can’t shake the concern that one day their appreciation might turn into resentment. You might even grapple with thoughts of not being feminist enough or not being enough in general. You worry that you are just a stay-at-home mom.
But listen closely, mama: there is no “just” in being a stay-at-home mom.
Motherhood is significant, regardless of its form. Whether you’re spending your days managing playdates and diaper changes or handling business meetings and negotiations, we’re all engaged in the profound work of raising children. There’s nothing trivial or mundane about that. There is no “just” in motherhood.
You aren’t just a stay-at-home mom; you are a nurturer, responsible for keeping a human life thriving. You feed babies, cradle sleeping toddlers, and soothe preschoolers after tumbles on the playground.
You aren’t just a stay-at-home mom; you are a caretaker, changing countless diapers, tackling mountains of laundry, and preparing multiple meals (one for the baby, another for the picky toddler, and a dinner that may not be touched until it’s cold).
You aren’t just a stay-at-home mom; you are a multitasker, juggling reading to your preschooler while nursing the baby and checking your first grader’s math homework. You might even be on hold with the pediatrician while helping your preschooler brush her teeth, all while stirring a pasta sauce and engaging with your son’s Minecraft stories.
You aren’t just a stay-at-home mom; you are a peacekeeper, diffusing arguments over who uses the red cup and calming tantrums when juice spills. You can divide a fruit snack perfectly in half and negotiate standoffs over naptime and TV shows.
You aren’t just a stay-at-home mom; you are a healer, tending to scrapes and holding puke buckets for sick kids. You manage to comb out lice nits more than once.
You aren’t just a stay-at-home mom; you are a teacher, guiding your children in life skills like tying shoes and saying “please.” You show them how to embrace failure and try again, helping them grow into their best selves.
You aren’t just a stay-at-home mom; you are an advocate, teaching your kids about true feminism, equality, and choice. You volunteer at their school, spending hours preparing for bake sales and chaperoning field trips, even if it means enduring a bus ride with a bunch of energetic third-graders.
So, remember, mama, you aren’t just a stay-at-home mom because you are so much more than that. You are a Nurturer-Caretaker-Multitasker-Peacekeeper-Healer-Teacher-Advocate. In short, you are a Mom.
You’re engaged in meaningful work; you’re making a difference. So let’s drop the “just” — there’s no such thing in motherhood, no matter how you choose to embrace it.
For more insights on navigating motherhood, check out our post on home insemination here. If you’re curious about the tools available for home insemination, Make a Mom can provide you with information on at-home kits. And for excellent resources on pregnancy and home insemination, visit Healthline.
Summary:
Being a stay-at-home mom is a multifaceted role that encompasses nurturing, caretaking, teaching, and advocating for children. It’s essential to recognize the value and importance of this work, as there is no “just” in motherhood. Embrace your identity and the significant impact you have as a mom.