After my ex’s surprising admission about the state of our relationship, I realized that separation was the best choice for both me and my kids. While I braced myself for the wave of emotions to come, I prepared for what felt like a heavy journey ahead. I’m a firm believer in honesty, so I stocked up on comfy pants, tissues, and some frozen cookies — ready to embrace the emotional rollercoaster!
I anticipated feelings of sadness, shame, anxiety, and even some relief. I mentally prepped for challenging moments like parent-teacher meetings and holiday changes, researching all the tips I could find online to navigate them effectively. I was ready.
However, there were moments that completely blindsided me, now frozen in time like snapshots of the past year. If you’re currently facing a separation, I hope my experiences help you feel a little less alone. Here are five surprising moments you might encounter:
- The Retainer Check
I handed over a retainer check to my lawyer, scrawled on a cartoonish bear-themed check. It struck me as absurdly humorous, and I instinctively looked to share a laugh with my husband — except he wasn’t there. Right, got it. - The Courtroom
Standing alone in that formal courtroom, I raised my right hand and thought, “Judge, how much truth are we swearing to right now? Are you interested in what I’m hopeful or terrified about?” Turns out he was only interested in the dense stack of paperwork before him. My entire marriage reduced to piles of documents. - The Doctor’s Office
When the kind nurse asked if my emergency contact was current, I was taken aback. Could I share the details of my heartache? Did shame flash across my face? I whispered to her through the glass, “No, please change it. To my sister.” - The Unwitting Colleagues
The most awkward encounters came from colleagues who didn’t know the full story but were familiar enough to casually ask, “How’s your husband? What’s new with the kids?” Oof. It’s even more uncomfortable to watch their faces flush as they realize they’ve just stepped into a minefield of awkwardness. - The Cat Adoption Lady
Sometimes during a separation, you find yourself adopting a quirky 9-year-old cat with special needs. This can bring unexpected joy amidst chaos, but filling out the adoption application? Tough! How do you convey stability when you have to write, “No, he just moved out last week, but yes, I’m totally ready for another living being?”
These surprising moments have been a mix of humor and sadness. The emotional weight can hit you unexpectedly, but it does eventually lighten. For every awkward interaction, I’ve also received understanding nods and “I’ve been there” sentiments. By being open and genuine, I’ve created a space for others to do the same. This might not be your finest hour, but it’s far from the worst, and remember, you are definitely not alone. Embrace the journey, set the tone, and don’t forget to laugh a little because sometimes that’s all we can do.
For more insights on navigating these experiences, you can check out this post. Also, for those interested in home insemination, Cryobaby’s kit is a fantastic resource as well as the CDC’s page which provides excellent information on pregnancy and home insemination.