I still vividly recall the day I reached my limit. I nervously stepped into the conference room, and there he was: a miniature dictator clad in khaki pants, glaring at me with eyes that could pierce through steel — his expression brimming with fury and disdain. After an hour filled with verbal assaults, I decided it was time to exit that dismal TV station in Nowheresville, NJ, for good.
Working for a narcissistic boss can surprisingly equip you for the challenges of parenthood, especially if you’re just starting your career. For one, any new manager will appear supportive and rational in contrast. Additionally, many narcissists are quite intelligent, providing a unique learning opportunity if you can endure their antics. Most importantly, working for such a personality prepares you for the realities of parenthood, which often involves becoming someone’s go-to person. As much as I hate to admit it, that’s a big part of being a parent.
Here are five ways my experience with a narcissistic boss has helped prepare me for motherhood:
- Sleep Deprivation
Having a manic boss often means long nights and early mornings filled with work. I remember many instances where I crashed on the couch at the station rather than making the trek back to Philly. This routine became so common that I kept a spare outfit in our female anchor’s dressing room. - The Art of Redirection
I quickly learned how to divert my boss’s attention whenever he erupted in a fit of rage. A well-timed piece of good news about someone important could shift the mood. It felt almost magical, but in reality, many knew how unpredictable he was and wanted to help me out. - Enduring Screaming
While my boss’s outbursts didn’t lead to any physical reactions, they did send my heart racing and made my ears ring. After experiencing repeated tirades from an adult acting like a petulant child, your baby’s cries will start to feel more like gentle lullabies. - Always Be Prepared
I learned early on that failing to prepare for unexpected situations could lead to public embarrassment and job insecurity. This instinct to plan ahead is natural when you have a baby too. You’ll find yourself asking questions like, “What if there’s an earthquake while I’m stuck on the freeway with my infant?” You’ll stock your car with essentials like diapers, formula, and snacks. - Identifying Trustworthy Individuals
My boss had a knack for turning coworkers against one another, creating factions within the workplace. This taught me to quickly identify who was genuinely supportive and who had ulterior motives. The same applies to motherhood; you’ll find your circle of supportive mamas faster if you’ve honed this skill.
Similarly, having a baby means sleepless nights. You’ll likely find yourself running on empty, yet still need to care for your little one — feeding, changing, rocking, and squeezing in naps when you can (that is, if your baby doesn’t wake up just as you start to doze off).
As a parent, mastering distraction is essential. If little Tommy is headed for trouble, you might have to break out a balloon to steer him in a different direction. Distraction and redirection are vital skills for any parent.
Whether you’re navigating sleepless nights with an infant or dealing with the sass of a teenager, your past experiences can serve you well. So, as you reflect on those challenging times, give a nod to that difficult boss and appreciate the skills you’ve gained. Just don’t forget to give them a mental eye-roll too.
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In summary, the challenges faced while working for a narcissistic boss can serve as excellent preparation for the trials of parenthood. Embrace your past experiences and use them to navigate the unpredictable journey of raising children.