Humans of New York (HONY) captures the essence of life in New York City through compelling photos and stories. Occasionally, they shed light on pressing issues that make us pause and reflect. Recently, a post featured a young woman sharing her experience with one of her first sexual encounters, illustrating the urgent need for better education on consent.
The story begins with her recounting the summer between 8th and 9th grade when she and a boy were “make-out buddies.” She described how their communication varied from day to day. One evening, while drinking in his basement, he pressured her to have sex. “My heart was racing and I was terrified,” she recalled, emphasizing her reluctance with repeated “maybes.” The situation took a troubling turn when he suggested they flip a coin to decide.
You can probably guess who ended up winning that toss. Afterward, he told her, “I think I heard my dad upstairs. You need to leave.” The young woman went home and poured her feelings into a journal, repeatedly writing in purple sharpie, “It didn’t happen.” For years, she felt guilty, believing her pain was unwarranted—a sentiment that took five years to unravel. “Consent is not a coin flip,” she finally realized.
This heartbreaking narrative resonates with many, revealing the blurred lines and coercion that often accompany young people’s sexual experiences. I grew up learning about sex and consent through my mother’s magazines, and I too found myself in situations where I complied to gain approval, not fully grasping that true consent means a clear and enthusiastic “yes.”
A recent study by Fusion explored how young men learn about consent. Alarmingly, 75% of 48 men surveyed, ages 18-49, reported they had never encountered the term “consent” before college, highlighting a significant gap in understanding. This statistic points to a larger trend: many young people fail to recognize that silence or ambiguity is not a green light.
While it’s challenging for parents to confront the idea of their children becoming sexually active, it’s crucial to ensure those experiences are safe, healthy, and consensual. Both parties need to understand their rights to say yes or no, and to know that consent requires an explicit affirmation from both individuals.
Many individuals have similar experiences to the one shared by HONY, but we can change this narrative. It’s our responsibility to teach the next generation, regardless of gender, that consent is unequivocal—it’s either a full “yes” or nothing at all.
For further insights on important topics related to conception and parenting, you might also want to check out this post on our blog. As a resource, the CDC offers valuable information on infertility, which can be helpful for those navigating these waters.
In summary, we must prioritize consent education for children to foster a culture of respect and clarity in their future relationships.