As a child, my mom had a plethora of rules. Looking back, I now understand that with three kids running around, establishing guidelines was probably necessary to prevent chaos. Now that I’m a mom myself, I’ve created my own set of rules to keep things in order at home.
While our mothers meant well, many of their rules now seem a bit outdated. With the rise of social media, cyberbullying, and other serious issues, today’s parents face challenges that go beyond whether or not to wear white after Labor Day. It’s clear that parenting has evolved since our moms were raising us, and it’s time to adapt our approaches to meet the needs of our children in this modern world.
Here’s a list of parenting rules I’m changing, and I bet you’ll recognize some of your own mother’s guidelines in these:
- Don’t Discuss Sex Openly
In our strict Catholic household, it was a silent rule that sex was off-limits for discussion. Sure, I got the awkward birds and bees talk, but anything beyond that was a no-go. As a parent, I’ve committed to having open conversations with my teens about intimacy, so they know what to expect both physically and emotionally. No topic is off-limits, and I want them to feel comfortable coming to me with questions — my mom would be shocked by some of the discussions we’ve had. - Girls Shouldn’t Call Boys
My mother believed that good girls never initiated contact with boys. If I wanted to go on a date, the boy had to make the first move. This outdated rule often left me waiting around for someone else to decide my plans. I want my daughter to feel empowered to make her own choices and approach whoever she wants, whether that’s asking someone out or just hanging out. I’ll do my best not to cringe when girls call my son for a date, but I can’t promise anything. - Always Be Nice
In our upbringing, the mantra was to always be nice, even to those who weren’t kind to us. While I agree that kindness is important, I also want my children to stand up for themselves and others when necessary. Sometimes, a polite “please” isn’t enough to change the world. I want my kids to be assertive and vocal about what’s right while still remembering their manners. - Wait for Your Father to Get Home
My mom was the primary disciplinarian, and whenever we got into real trouble, she would threaten, “Just wait until your father gets home!” This made him the “closer” when it came to discipline, which often felt unfair. I decided that discipline is a shared responsibility, and my husband and I always present a united front. My kids know that I’m the one they should fear the most, though!
While my mother had many wise insights, she gave me the freedom to find my path as a parent with minimal interference. I’m sure my daughter will also choose her own way when she becomes a mom. Unfortunately for her, I may not have inherited my mother’s knack for keeping my “I told you so” moments to a minimum.
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Summary:
In this article, Emily Carter reflects on how her parenting approach differs from her mother’s rules. She emphasizes the need for open discussions about sex, empowering her daughter to take initiative in relationships, standing up for oneself, and sharing the responsibility of discipline with her partner. As parenting continues to evolve, Emily acknowledges that every generation will adapt and change the rules as necessary.