I often wonder if the questions I get about my role as a stay-at-home mom (SAHM) are meant to be innocent small talk, but they frequently come off as judgmental. It feels like some people are assessing my worth based on my answer, expecting a response that aligns with their views of productivity. Initially, it was the casual, “What do you do all day?” Then, as my children moved up in preschool, the inquiry shifted to, “What will you do with all that extra time?” And now, as the day approaches when all my kids will finally be in school full-time, it has transformed into the pointed, “What’s your plan for next year?”
I’ve experienced my fair share of guilt as a SAHM. There have been days—weeks even—when I struggled to tackle the laundry or prepare a decent dinner, all while comparing myself to working moms who seem to juggle it all while earning a paycheck. I’ve had countless overwhelming days, especially with twins and a toddler in the mix. It’s hard to comprehend how anyone accomplishes so much within just 24 hours!
However, as my kids have matured, my feelings about being a SAHM have evolved. Although I’ve grown more comfortable in my role, I still grapple with guilt and inadequacy when faced with the inevitable question about my future plans. After much reflection and discussion with my husband, we’ve made a decision about what’s best for our family. I’ve realized it’s time to embrace this opportunity and let go of any guilt. Here are five reasons I’ve decided to continue being a SAHM even when my kids are all in school:
1. Because I Can.
Simply put, our family has managed on my husband’s income for years, and we can certainly continue to do so. While we aren’t wealthy, we are fortunate enough to be part of the middle class. We can live comfortably on one salary, provided we stick to our budget and seek savings opportunities. While additional income would be nice, I recognize the value in not working for a paycheck.
2. To Be Available.
By staying home, I’ll be around for those unexpected school holidays, teacher in-service days, and the entire winter, spring, and summer breaks. The reality is that kids are only in school for about 180 days a year, and I won’t have to scramble for childcare on sick days or snow days. Plus, I won’t need to work evenings or weekends. My availability means I can be there for my kids when they need me most.
3. To Lighten the Load for My Husband.
Having a non-working spouse can sometimes increase the burden on the other partner, but in our case, it won’t affect our income. Instead, I can help ease my husband’s responsibilities at home. After years of working long hours, he deserves to come home to a more relaxed environment. I want to take over some of the routine chores, like yard work and laundry, so he can enjoy his downtime.
4. To Improve Myself.
Much of what I plan to do in the upcoming year is similar to what I’ve done all along, but with more time, I hope to manage it better. From meal planning to shopping for deals, I aim to become more efficient. More importantly, I want to invest time in my passions and engage in activities that bring me joy. I want to be a happier, less-stressed version of myself for the benefit of my family.
5. Because Life is Fleeting.
I’m acutely aware of how quickly life can pass us by, especially after my experiences as a cancer survivor. The time we spend together as a family is invaluable, and by remaining a SAHM, I can maximize our family moments. I’ll handle errands during the week, freeing up our evenings and weekends for quality time together. I want to cherish every moment as I watch my kids grow.
So, what’s my plan for next year? To enjoy every bit of it.
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