By: Emily Hartman
Updated: April 29, 2021
Originally Published: June 15, 2016
My friend Sarah was the first among my closest pals to welcome a little one into the world. After she gave birth to her adorable daughter in June of 2014, I made a trip to the hospital to see her, brought her dinner once, and then stopped by after work occasionally to cuddle her baby and catch up. Mostly, I’d vent about my demanding job while she nodded along with a knowing smile. Occasionally, she’d drop hints about the challenges of new motherhood, like the sleepless nights spent nursing her newborn.
I felt guilty because I cared about her, but I couldn’t empathize—not even a little. So, I’d leave our visits, buckle my own seatbelt, and head home, relishing the freedom of being child-free. One time, she mentioned her new “mom friends” from a group at the hospital for new parents. She spoke of them like they were a single entity: “Mom-Friend.” I felt a twinge of jealousy—what was it about these women that made them so special?
Fast forward to July 2015, when my own precious baby girl arrived after a whirlwind, and let’s be honest, somewhat foolish labor without an epidural. The first week at home was a dreamy haze of sleepless nights and tears—tears over struggling to breastfeed and feeling like I had lost all semblance of control. My first solo car ride with my daughter was to the same group Sarah had attended a year prior. She cried the entire way, and I was in tears too.
When we finally arrived (fashionably late), I plopped down on the classroom carpet, praying my daughter wouldn’t get hungry before I could get to a private space. Of course, she did, and I fumbled with my nursing cover, feeling flustered and on the brink of tears. But then, across the room, I spotted another mom calmly nursing her baby, and in that moment, I knew I was among my kind.
In the weeks that followed, the moms I met in that class became my lifeline. We’d gather for coffee before class each week, sharing everything from our babies’ feeding schedules to our own personal struggles. We discussed the physical and emotional toll of motherhood—everything from the horror of our first post-labor bowel movement to the anxieties surrounding intimacy. We supported one another through the sleepless nights, and our late-night texts became a lifeline.
As our children grew, many of my Mom-Friends returned to work, leading to less time together. Yet, we continued to reach out, navigating each new stage of motherhood together. Recently, we gathered without our kids, and it struck me that these “Mom-Friends” had transitioned into true friends.
We’ve shared those tender early days of motherhood, clad in comfy black leggings that disguised our postpartum bodies. We held our babies while sipping lattes, some of us navigating the ups and downs of breastfeeding. Now, we’re all more or less back to “normal,” yet it’s a new normal, filled with challenges, joys, and shared experiences that we’ve all endured together.
I hope our friendships endure, and I look forward to watching our kids grow while reminiscing about the days of breast pads and the chaos of new motherhood. But even if our paths diverge, I’ll always cherish the moments spent with these incredible women who supported me through the highs and lows of being a new mom. There truly is nothing like a Mom Friend.
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Summary:
This article reflects on the unique bond formed between new mothers as they navigate the challenges of motherhood together. The author shares her personal experiences transitioning from a child-free lifestyle to becoming part of a supportive community of moms, emphasizing the strength and resilience found in these friendships.