A few months after I returned to work from maternity leave, I ran into a colleague I hadn’t seen since before my leave. “Welcome back to the game,” she said, and I nodded, recognizing that I was indeed back to the hustle and bustle of adult life—daily commutes, phone calls, and carefully crafted emails to my peers.
I understood her sentiment that maternity leave was a different world from my previous work life, and even more distinct from the life I now lead as a working mom. However, the idea that I had “returned” from somewhere didn’t entirely resonate with me.
Like many new moms might agree, the person I was before my baby arrived changed dramatically the moment that labor nurse announced the time of birth. I am a different individual now than the one who thought adding a baby to the mix was a brilliant idea.
Don’t get me wrong—I’m still me. I still have many of the same aspirations, dreams, and cravings. My love for Diet Pepsi is still strong, I cherish my daily workouts, and I enjoy having fun with my husband, sharing laughs over inside jokes. I still strive to be a competent attorney, dedicated to my clients. The key difference now is that I have a little one who, along with my partner, takes priority over everything else.
In motherhood, we adapt however necessary. Whether we decide to pursue our careers after children or focus entirely on parenting—or find a balance between the two—we take our circumstances and make them work for us and our families. We work remotely, adjust our schedules to maximize time with our kids, and negotiate for moments of self-care and connection with our partners.
We recognize that sacrifices are inevitable. We might take time off work, return to the office, or give up certain activities like rock climbing, sushi, or even a spontaneous weekend getaway. We navigate these choices because we want the best for our children. The transformation into “mom” alters us, and that’s perfectly fine.
It’s been a year since I returned to work, and during this time, I have worked from home a few days a week to spend more moments with my son. I’ve modified my office hours and felt the weight of stress and worry. I understand much of this is temporary. In a year, my husband and I will be in a position that allows me to consider part-time work or possibly pausing my career altogether, at least for a while. Whatever path I choose will be mine, and I feel fortunate to have that option.
The decisions I make now as a mother might differ from those I would have made pre-baby. Just as I wouldn’t consult my younger self on significant life choices, I won’t second-guess my current self. I trust my mom instincts to guide me in making the right decisions for my family and myself. In fact, I feel more empowered as a mother than I ever did before.
Before becoming pregnant, I never imagined I could handle a trial while feeling nauseous or endure a deposition with a heavy weight pressing down on my bladder. And that was just the beginning—there were sleepless nights and countless adjustments that followed my transition into motherhood.
Returning to work was an emotional challenge, as was building trust in our caregivers. Motherhood is truly liberating. The love and concern I feel for my son and family far outweigh any judgments or opinions from others regarding our lifestyle.
I’m more driven to excel and make meaningful contributions. The time I spend away from my son feels like a sacrifice, which only amplifies the importance of making that time count. I’ve become more efficient and focused. I care deeply about my work and strive to do my best.
Now, my son is the central focus of my life’s work. Motherhood is my new adventure, and everything else is just part of the journey.
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Summary
Motherhood transforms us in ways we never expected. Balancing work and family is a unique challenge, but the love we have for our children drives us to adapt and thrive. The journey of motherhood is not just about returning to work; it’s about creating a fulfilling life for our families.