As a parent, it’s natural to want to jump in and clarify things when others ask about our children. Recently, I found myself wanting to intervene during a conversation about my daughter Mia’s noticeable skin condition. A young boy pointed at her and said, “Why is your face red?” I held back, eager to explain but choosing instead to observe.
Mia’s brother, Leo, answered the boy with, “She has a skin addition,” a sweet mix-up that made me smile. While he meant “skin condition,” I couldn’t help but think that “skin addition” was quite fitting—Mia’s body does produce an excess of skin. Mia confidently added, “Yeah,” and just like that, the boy shrugged it off and continued playing, satisfied with the response.
I could have provided more details about Mia’s condition—how she was born with it, that her skin tends to be very dry, and that she uses lotion to keep it moisturized. I considered whether stepping in would change the boy’s perception or even make him feel uncomfortable for asking. Would my intervention inadvertently shield Mia from experiences she needed to face?
My goal as a mother is to nurture independence, self-respect, and resilience in my children, allowing them to step confidently into the world as unique individuals shaped by a greater purpose. With Mia, who navigates life with distinct physical traits, I find myself stepping back more often. Though it’s a challenge, I believe it’s essential for her growth.
I know she will encounter various reactions to her appearance, whether I am by her side or not. So, I’m coming to terms with the idea of giving her the gift of speaking for herself. I want her to feel empowered to respond to questions and comments in her own way, rather than mirroring my own reactions. My perspective as her mother is different; I often feel protective and defensive, and I recognize that the weight of these experiences can be heavier for me than for her.
It’s vital for Mia’s self-esteem and inner strength to engage with the world directly. Her experiences with stares and questions will vary from mine, and I hope we can support each other through every situation. This journey is about finding grace-filled ways to advocate for ourselves while fulfilling God’s purpose in our lives.
A few months ago, Mia excitedly told us about a new boy in her preschool class who commented on her skin. When we asked her how she responded, she confidently said, “I said, ‘yes.’” No embarrassment, no shame—just a simple acknowledgment of who she is.
In those moments, my previous instinct to protect her transformed into an opportunity for her to embrace her identity. These interactions are not just challenges; they are valuable lessons for Mia to take pride in her uniqueness and to choose how she interacts with the world around her.
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In summary, empowering our children to embrace their differences fosters confidence and self-acceptance, allowing them to navigate the world with strength and grace.